1 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,835 Watson: The legend of Sherlock Holmes 2 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,588 begins on his first day of school. 3 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:39,846 To us, he is the greatest detective of all time, 4 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:43,096 but back then, he was just... 5 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:46,353 Well, the new kid. 6 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,682 But, mother, I don't need school. I've got books. 7 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:53,398 Sherlock. You need to be with other kids. 8 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,730 Have friends, play games, kiss a girl. 9 00:01:57,492 --> 00:02:01,701 Open your heart, Sherlock, and the world will open itself to you. 10 00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:03,991 All right, mother. 11 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,663 Everything will be fine. 12 00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:10,961 Watson: But things were not going to be fine. Not fine at all. 13 00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:13,460 Mother, as usual, was mistaken. 14 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,630 We can do this. 15 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,880 Look, the new kid. 16 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,383 - He looks poor! - Hello. 17 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,760 My name is Sherlock Holmes, and I'm looking forward 18 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,037 to being friends with each and every one... 19 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,471 Get him! “What? 20 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,638 Watson: School was not easy for Sherlock. 21 00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:30,472 He was picked on constantly. 22 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,086 - They were relentless. - Girl: He's weird! 23 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:35,022 What kind of stupid dog is this? 24 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,478 Nol 25 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:44,073 Watson: As time passed, young Sherlock remained alone, 26 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,995 keeping mostly to himself. 27 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:51,328 His spirits had dampened, but his heart was still alive. 28 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,714 Young Holmes: A beautiful girl has captured my heart. 29 00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:58,042 Her name is bridgette. 30 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:02,004 I am overcome with such true feelings and emotions. 31 00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,059 - She is the moon... - Boy: Hey, Sherlock. 32 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,893 Look, Sherlock, we feel bad. We've been awfully naughty with you. 33 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,687 Girl: Would you like to kiss bridgette over there? 34 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,139 She wants to kiss you. 35 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:16,359 - How about it, Sherlock? - She wants to kiss me? 36 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,152 She told me this morning. 37 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,196 I should like that an awful lot. 38 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,490 Put this on, then. 39 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,067 A blindfold? 40 00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,993 This is how everyone kisses. 41 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,373 Uh, is it? Are you sure she wants to kiss me? 42 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,426 Boy: 'Course she does. 43 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,456 Girl: She's really shy. 44 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:39,249 Oh, Sherlock, how I've dreamed of this moment. 45 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,710 Now lean in for your kiss. 46 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,102 Boy 1: He kissed a donkey's ass! 47 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,943 Boy 3: Oh, he's gonna cry, isn't he? Boy 4: He likes you! 48 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,820 Here comes the waterworks! 49 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,448 Children: Cry! Cry! Cry! 50 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:10,201 Cry! Cry! Cry! 51 00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:12,283 Watson: His heart had betrayed him. 52 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,331 And so, from that day forward, 53 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:18,084 he vowed he would lock away all feelings. 54 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,338 He would become a thinking machine, 55 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,920 an unfeeling automaton. 56 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,594 What's he doing? 57 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,427 He's un-crying? 58 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,272 Watson: Without the confusion of feelings, 59 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,725 without emotions to distract him, 60 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:42,233 he could devote his entire brain... 61 00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:45,532 To solving crimes, his greatest passion. 62 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:50,033 The ink on your right hand, that's the headmaster's brand of ink, 63 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,160 which means you went into his desk for the answers on his test. 64 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,582 Expelled! 65 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:58,662 And, thulby, the dirt on your boots is freshly dried Clay, 66 00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:01,999 - which means you snuck off the grounds. - Oh, shite. 67 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,208 Expelled! 68 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,509 And I smell alcohol 69 00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:05,865 on your breath, Jane. 70 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,096 And, Seamus, you've got a bruise on your neck 71 00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:10,640 that fits the radius of a girl's mouth. 72 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:11,788 But I'm in love. 73 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,748 And those are tobacco stains on your fingers, Nancy. 74 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:14,832 Headmaster: Expelled! 75 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,437 And I shall have you all expelled! 76 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:18,516 Expelled, expelled, expelled! 77 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,906 - The big kids can be jerks here. - Hmm. 78 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:31,324 Judging by your smell of vinegar and sawdust, 79 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,904 you are the janitor's son. 80 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,864 But someday, you're going to be a doctor. 81 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:35,960 Really? 82 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:39,081 It's elementary, my dear... What's your name? 83 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,709 - John Watson. - Sherlock Holmes. 84 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,542 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go learn. 85 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,799 The circumference of a cone is a direct ratio of the circular... 86 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:52,974 Watson: And so every professor at the school dedicated themselves solely 87 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:56,098 to teaching the young Sherlock Holmes. 88 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,601 Martin Luther's reformation was actually the first... 89 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,102 Watson: His mind was transformed 90 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:05,062 from an unrefined hunk of gold fo a razor-sharp diamond. 91 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,700 Square root of pi. 92 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,535 1492. 93 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:10,734 From the novel... 94 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:13,946 Magnesium sulfate. Plato. 95 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:18,701 - The fulcrum is insufficient. - Good answer. 96 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:21,582 - Questions? - Next lesson. 97 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,956 Jj 98 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,165 All aboard! 99 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,218 Hip-hop's dead, that's what they said on the news 100 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,513 nah, it's still alive, but it's getting confused 101 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,137 so there's no time to waste, not a second to lose 102 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,718 'cause the clocks don't stop when you set 'em to snooze 103 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,474 and it just don't stop 104 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,056 - 'cause the time rolls - On and on and on 105 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,688 - to the next stop - And it just won't stop 106 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:46,064 - because life goes - On and on and on 107 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,916 - to the next stop - What, that's how it goes 108 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,448 when you hop on the line, you'll find anything you like 109 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,901 but you can't buy time and there ain't no pause 110 00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,031 no press rewind 111 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,987 so you don't want to get left behind 112 00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,916 boy: Extral extra! Read all about it! 113 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:02,164 Moriarty's crime spree over! 114 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,918 Professor James moriarty faces justice today! 115 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,500 The Napoleon of crime on trial! 116 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,756 Greatest criminal in the empire! 117 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:11,847 That's fake news. 118 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,595 Stop this trial at once! 119 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:21,180 L, Sherlock Holmes, have solved the case of professor James moriarty. 120 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,856 Wonderful. Wonderful, Holmes. 121 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,731 A dramatic entrance worthy of your greatest achievement. 122 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:32,070 Watson, did you notice my emphasis on "professor James moriarty"? 123 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,525 Yes, with the finger, yes. 124 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,156 Much better than the hand. Yes. 125 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:38,238 Instead of the karate chop, I went to the index finger. 126 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,664 Yes, it's the best one yet. 127 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,788 This is the moment everyone's been waiting for. Right here. 128 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:45,962 Yes, and they're literally waiting for it now. 129 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,877 - Oh, yes. - You must get dressed. 130 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:48,968 Yes? Very well. 131 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,792 There we are. There are your things. 132 00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,840 Remember, trial of the century. Yes. 133 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:56,890 We have but... oh, let's see now. Just 16 minutes left, Holmes. 134 00:07:56,977 --> 00:08:00,060 Judge: Professor James moriarty. 135 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,808 You have been the organizer of half that is evil 136 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:06,141 and all that goes undetected in this great city. 137 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:11,359 Today, you are charged with murder in the first degree, 138 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:14,907 but all the witnesses have died. 139 00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:19,787 Without said witnesses, I have no choice but to set you free. 140 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,243 Inspector lestrade, 141 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:28,421 you simply must take better care of your witnesses. 142 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,209 Mark my words, 143 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,761 Sherlock Holmes is on his way and, with him, 144 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,841 the evidence that will damn you to the noose. 145 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:42,769 Then we should all pray he arrives soon, for, on the strike of noon, 146 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,188 I shall have to release this menace. 147 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:46,515 Sherlock will be here. 148 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,193 He is about to burst through those doors right now. 149 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,325 - Nearly there? - Holmes: Nearly there. 150 00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:02,247 A sniff of morning cocaine always helps the brain. Ah! 151 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:05,496 Come now, Sherlock. We mustn't let that trial conclude. 152 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:09,000 For this occasion, I have selected a new hat. 153 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,715 From now on, when people utter the name "Sherlock Holmes," 154 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,794 they will picture this. 155 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,803 Brilliant. Can we go? 156 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:23,267 Your furrowed brow betrays your lying lips. 157 00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:24,560 Oh, no. 158 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:25,887 Not to worry. 159 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,146 Ta-da! 160 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,269 Hey, there, cowboy. 161 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,200 - That's the one. That's the one. - Bang, bang. 162 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,769 We should leave, yes? 163 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,570 - Oh! - Aye, aye. 164 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,318 I say, I like that one very much. 165 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,695 You don't want to be late, Mr. Holmes. 166 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,987 Mrs. Hudson, what do you think of this one? 167 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:46,166 Me? I'm just a housekeeper from the Glasgow slums. 168 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,870 The likes of me telling the likes of you what to put on his noggin? 169 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:51,548 Good point. 170 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,706 Back to your monkey work, Hudson. 171 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,326 Watson: Perfect, right? Holmes: May I show you a few more hats? 172 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,472 Watson: No! Someone's left a wee box. 173 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,679 What are you going on about? 174 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:07,012 I never even heard anyone knocking. Did you hear anything? 175 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,392 How very queer. 176 00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:14,022 - Queerer and queerer. - Holmes: Hmm. 177 00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:15,524 Very odd. 178 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:18,742 Watson, no. 179 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,468 Holmes, why are you getting so exercised? 180 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,698 It's merely an empty box. 181 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:27,249 Watson, this is sent from moriarty. He means to kill us. 182 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:28,370 Listen. 183 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:31,755 Shut that window. 184 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,582 If this winged menace escapes, it may cause a pandemic. 185 00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:35,961 A killer mosquito? 186 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,088 The insect is infected with African plague. 187 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,090 One bite means death. 188 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,801 Now, dance a Dutch jig. 189 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:50,264 You don't have to ask me twice to do a Dutch jig, but why? 190 00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:53,065 Your body heat will attract him to dine on your flesh. 191 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,153 Brilliant. 192 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,853 Hold! Don't move. 193 00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,529 - Where is it? - Right there. 194 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,098 There. Right there on your forehead. 195 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,276 - Kill it, Holmes. - I'm going to kill it. 196 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,244 There it is. “Where? 197 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,284 Hold, hold. No, no. “Where? 198 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,455 - No, hold, hold. - Is it biting? 199 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,590 I hear it. 200 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,136 I see it. 201 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:22,472 The tip! 202 00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,555 Don't worry, boys. I brought a net. 203 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:37,402 Upon the lowering of my gavel, 204 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,025 the charges shall be dismissed. 205 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,983 I shall raise my gavel in the air 206 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:46,444 and then bring it down briskly, 207 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,622 making a satisfying bang, 208 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:53,998 at which point the prisoner shall go free. 209 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,176 Holmes: Angle of approach. 210 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,223 Compensate for warp in floor. 211 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,893 Count for resistance due to dust motes. 212 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,345 Probable outcome, 213 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,280 termination of mosquito. 214 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,941 Integrity of bee habitat maintained. 215 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,485 Deadly bee swarm averted. 216 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,776 The mosquito's vanquished. 217 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,406 Well done, Holmes. 218 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:31,240 It's a simple matter of geometry, entomology and physics. 219 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,497 - Oh, my god! - Oh, shit. 220 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:43,176 Watson! Stop panicking! We can disable the queen. 221 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,003 It's making them angry, Holmes! 222 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,804 Oh, my god. What are they doing? 223 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,381 They're turning this way! 224 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,092 Just do anything! Help me! 225 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,221 It's working! 226 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,896 It's not working! 227 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,975 - Get it off! - It's not working! 228 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,235 Holmes, we retreat. 229 00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,779 Run for safety. I'll lead them away. 230 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,670 Stop this trial! 231 00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:40,434 May I present to you the greatest detective of all time, 232 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:44,271 solver of the unsolvable, untier of gordian knots, 233 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:49,485 bester of conundrums, the great Sherlock Holmes. 234 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,871 Gallery: Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 235 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,745 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 236 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,248 Stop this trial at once! 237 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:07,127 Judge: Thank goodness you've arrived, Mr. Holmes. 238 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:10,634 Now, what startling new evidence do you have for the court? 239 00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,010 I am the evidence. 240 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:18,183 I recall the day vividly. I arrived at the crime scene alone. 241 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:21,232 Completely and utterly alone. 242 00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:26,609 I meticulously inspected every nook and cranny of that study, 243 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:31,784 hunting for clues, much like a panther stalks its prey. 244 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:42,163 And as I stood there, I began to employ a groundbreaking new technique. 245 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,871 Right there. 246 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,628 Behold! Fingerprints. 247 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:50,678 Imagine a print being taken from a finger. 248 00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:52,555 I love it. 249 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:55,179 How do these prove moriarty's guilt? 250 00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,020 Watson. 251 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:04,025 Moriarty would never leave a trail of clues, 252 00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,818 which begs the question, 253 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,611 why was this crime scene 254 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:11,441 so uncharacteristically littered with fingerprints? 255 00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:12,821 Good work, Watson. 256 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,556 Thank you. I just thought of what you might have done. 257 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:19,665 I compared these prints to those of the man standing before you. 258 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,242 A perfect match. 259 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,670 Unequivocal proof that this man 260 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,998 i1s innocent. 1 estrade: What? 261 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,878 But if those are moriarty's prints, then moriarty is the murderer. 262 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,384 This man is not moriarty. 263 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,285 Man: He sure looks like moriarty. 264 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:39,143 He's an impostor. His name is Jacob musgrave. 265 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,596 A complete look-alike, a doppelganger. 266 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:45,730 A patsy framed to hang for moriarty's crimes, 267 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,607 so that I may abandon my pursuit of him 268 00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:51,405 and he can begin life anew in America. 269 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:55,155 Why would an innocent man agree to hang for moriarty's crimes? 270 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:58,409 Elementary. This man is terminally ill. 271 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,617 Look at him. His pallid complexion. 272 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,952 The palsy in his left hand. 273 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,786 Wait. I know. He's an onanist. 274 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:08,999 Yes, of the most enthusiastic kind. 275 00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,549 Man: What's an onanist? 276 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,342 Watson: He... let's see. 277 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,921 He pours his own tea. 278 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:20,722 He likes to create his own sauce. 279 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:24,305 - He is a saucier. - Gallery: Huh? 280 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,608 And the name of his restaurant is crotch kitchen. 281 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,195 On a daily basis, he creams his own éclair. 282 00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:35,400 He is Romeo and Juliet. 283 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,735 That should do it. 284 00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:40,242 - This here. - Man: Oh, he's a wanker. 285 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,413 Watson: Thank you. 286 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:42,991 Sorry, ladies. 287 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:46,748 This chap here had nothing to lose by being executed. 288 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,546 He was literally dying by his own hand. 289 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,841 It causes death, you see. 290 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:55,295 The infallible Sherlock Holmes has indeed spoken. 291 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:58,881 In light of his testimony, I order the release of the suspect. 292 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:03,891 What? This is an outrage! Do not let this murderer free. 293 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:08,065 Bang, bang, bang! Court is adjourned. 294 00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:10,188 Sherlock Holmes has done it again! 295 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,402 Why are you cheering? 296 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:17,616 Sherlock! 297 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:21,161 Gallery: Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 298 00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:22,726 Watson: That couldn't have gone better. 299 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,035 Holmes: It couldn't have. 300 00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,562 And I tell you, that case was rather... 301 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:28,373 It took us three years to catch him. 302 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:31,046 If we release him now, we may never find him again. 303 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,966 Put aside your ego and admit I am right. 304 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,712 I am afraid moriarty's long gone to America. 305 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:41,550 Whatever crimes moriarty commits from now on 306 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:42,975 are on your head. 307 00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,225 Watson: I quite like seeing lestrade upset. 308 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,897 Yeah. I do, too. 309 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:57,365 Watson: Professor James moriarty fled to the americas 310 00:17:57,451 --> 00:18:03,117 and would never darken england again. 311 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:10,748 Holmes. 312 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:12,914 Are you upset? 313 00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,458 It's just that moriarty was the whetstone 314 00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,669 upon which I sharpened my mental blade. 315 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:21,218 With him gone, not there to challenge me, why go on? 316 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:25,013 Instead, I shall occupy my great, great mind 317 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,390 with nutritional science. 318 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,891 My research suggests 319 00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:31,565 that the sulfurous compounds of the common onion 320 00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:33,897 can increase your red blood cells. 321 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,603 Vital for human health. 322 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,753 - Just bite it like an apple, en? - Mmm-hmm. 323 00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:44,949 Definitely takes four or five bites. 324 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,666 Are we meant to eat the whole thing? 325 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:50,952 The whole thing. 326 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:55,085 Let the juice slither down the back of your throat. 327 00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,551 Congratulations, Holmes. 328 00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,547 You're not only the smartest man in London, 329 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,678 you shall soon be the healthiest. 330 00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:05,894 Indeed. 331 00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,933 Now, where's my opium? 332 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:11,722 Um... 333 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:12,817 Mrs. Hudson! 334 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,984 - Hudson! - Hudson! 335 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,071 Help! 336 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,567 Hudson, Watson has stuck a carrot up my bum! 337 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,898 Hudson, help! 338 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,983 - Fire! Fire! - Call the police! 339 00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,693 Hudson, your mother has died! 340 00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,574 You brain-dead bag of bones! 341 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,577 - Hudson! - Hudson! 342 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,703 Hudson! 343 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,000 Hudson, where are you? 344 00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:33,036 Uh... _ 345 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,916 Holmes: Did you not hear any of that? 346 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,872 We screamed "fire." “Where? 347 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,582 And we were screaming your name. 348 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,168 You were just there in my bedroom? 349 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:42,931 On. 350 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,174 - Shut up. - Come on. 351 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:51,145 No wonder my room always smells like fish pie and swamp. 352 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,692 This came for you. 353 00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:57,897 Hmm. 354 00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:01,648 Sealed by hands unused to manual labor. 355 00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:02,777 Watson: Hmm. 356 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,318 Hmm. 357 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:08,450 Saliva from a protein-rich diet of chicken kidneys. 358 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,998 Why, Watson, it's from the queen. 359 00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:12,495 Huh. 360 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,872 Seems her majesty requests my services. 361 00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,831 A crime that has baffled even her closest advisors, 362 00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:20,758 and only my singular intellect can solve it. 363 00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,130 Well, well, well, 364 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,260 look who's back in the game. 365 00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:27,502 Holmes: Watson, are you all right? 366 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,346 Watson: I'm just very nervous. 367 00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:31,302 I've not met the queen before. 368 00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,017 - Deep breath. - Your majesty, 369 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:40,148 Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson. 370 00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,736 My god, it's really her. 371 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:51,576 Shh. 372 00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,378 Watson. 373 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,415 Say something. 374 00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,001 I love you. 375 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:03,425 I know I am duty-bound to serve you, 376 00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,073 but let me just say, on a personal note, 377 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,575 - I really like you. - Holmes: Stop touching her. 378 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:07,839 Just as a fan. 379 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,764 Please, sir. 380 00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:10,932 Don't touch the queen. 381 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:12,513 On! 382 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:13,925 Quite right. 383 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,604 Sorry, your majesty. 384 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,356 You look a lot smaller in person. 385 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,227 - Just stop. Just stop. - Sorry. It's true. 386 00:21:21,322 --> 00:21:22,528 Just stop talking. 387 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:23,900 - Yes. - Stop talking. 388 00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:26,274 I'm crazy about your look. 389 00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:27,733 What did I say? 390 00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:30,034 Am I still talking out loud? You are. You are. 391 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,451 It's just the queen. Yes. 392 00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:35,203 - Okay? - Watson: Okay. 393 00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:36,377 Holmes: Your majesty, 394 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:39,753 how may we be of service to the realm? 395 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,751 Mr. Holmes, pray follow us. 396 00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:43,916 There is danger about. 397 00:21:46,055 --> 00:21:47,465 What a looker, right? 398 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:50,013 She is stunning in person. 399 00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:53,176 Fear not, your majesty, 400 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:56,137 Sherlock will allow no harm to come to you, and neither will I. 401 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:59,440 Five, four, three, 402 00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:01,267 two, one. 403 00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:02,898 All: Surprise! 404 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,066 Thank you. Thank you. 405 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:08,111 Had I been a non-genius such as yourselves, 406 00:22:08,202 --> 00:22:11,365 there's a 72% chance I would have been surprised. 407 00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:13,366 Oh! 72%. 408 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,199 Happy birthday, Sherlock Holmes. 409 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:20,502 We wish you well and thank you for your many years... 410 00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:24,081 Your many years of public service. 411 00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:29,170 So, Holmes. Yes. 412 00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:30,265 When did you know? 413 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:31,429 Tuesday. 414 00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:32,851 Really? 415 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,259 You were seven minutes late coming home. 416 00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:39,771 Stopped at the stationer's, confirmed by the scent of paper mulch. 417 00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:41,253 You have the nose of a bloodhound. 418 00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,768 Your mustache betrayed a dusting of crumbs. 419 00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:46,445 Evidence of cake sampling. 420 00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:48,488 Guilty. 421 00:22:48,659 --> 00:22:52,026 And you purchased a case of pre-phylloxera champagne. 422 00:22:52,121 --> 00:22:55,909 You lack the self-esteem to buy yourself such an extravagant bottle. 423 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,036 It's true. 424 00:22:58,127 --> 00:22:59,833 I don't deserve nice things. 425 00:23:04,008 --> 00:23:07,842 For he's a jolly good fellow for he's a jolly good fellow 426 00:23:08,012 --> 00:23:11,550 for he's a jolly good fellow 427 00:23:11,724 --> 00:23:14,261 and so say all of us 428 00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:16,391 bravo. 429 00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:19,053 Thank you. 430 00:23:19,148 --> 00:23:20,684 That was delightful. 431 00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:22,932 Oh, a layer cake. 432 00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:25,063 Watson: It's shaped like a magnifying glass. 433 00:23:25,154 --> 00:23:26,154 Yes! 434 00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:31,949 The second layer is rather thick. 435 00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:36,533 There must be a few nuts in there. Uh, if I may. 436 00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:38,831 - Would you mind? - Here. Yes, of course. 437 00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:42,063 Do you see what I'm talking about? 438 00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:43,497 = =I es e>" 439 00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:45,625 ah. Raspberry jam. 440 00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:47,630 Mmm. My weakness. 441 00:23:47,718 --> 00:23:48,878 I know what I need. 442 00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:51,502 Man: What the... he's getting an ax! 443 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,090 - Brilliant. - Charge! 444 00:23:55,059 --> 00:23:56,549 _oh! 445 00:23:56,644 --> 00:23:59,181 Lestrade: Stand back. Back, everyone, I say. 446 00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,728 A murder in Buckingham Palace. 447 00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:03,305 Look, a note. There. 448 00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:06,441 Right under your nose. 449 00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:14,567 "A birthday present for you, Sherlock. 450 00:24:14,745 --> 00:24:16,986 "A crime to challenge your wits. 451 00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:18,946 "Stop me in four days' time, 452 00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:21,748 "or I will destroy London's greatest marvel and kill the queen, 453 00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:24,247 "and I will rewrite history." 454 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,875 Signed "professor James moriarty." 455 00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:28,042 Holmes: Hmm. 456 00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:30,211 This is Jimmy gruber, 457 00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:31,838 the witness who disappeared, 458 00:24:31,929 --> 00:24:34,420 whose testimony prompted moriarty's arrest 459 00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:37,052 and whom moriarty swore to kill. 460 00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,507 And your conclusion? 461 00:24:41,230 --> 00:24:45,143 That moriarty has killed again, as I predicted. 462 00:24:45,442 --> 00:24:47,728 Ah. The most obvious conclusion. 463 00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:51,145 No, this is definitely the work 464 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,947 of someone who is going to extraordinary lengths 465 00:24:54,034 --> 00:24:56,821 to make it appear as if moriarty committed these crimes. 466 00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:58,868 - Sherlock Holmes. - Holmes: The queen. 467 00:25:00,624 --> 00:25:04,037 We charge you with the task of stopping this criminal 468 00:25:04,128 --> 00:25:05,538 before he can do us harm. 469 00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:09,751 Solve this case on behalf of your queen and country. 470 00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:10,957 I will. “We will. 471 00:25:11,051 --> 00:25:12,051 But, your majesty... 472 00:25:12,136 --> 00:25:14,969 Sherlock Holmes has never failed us. 473 00:25:15,139 --> 00:25:17,130 The bold ingenuity of this crime 474 00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:21,183 calls me back to the profession of detecting like a siren song. 475 00:25:21,270 --> 00:25:22,998 I won't let anyone hurt you. 476 00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:24,978 Watson. To the morgue. 477 00:25:25,065 --> 00:25:27,477 Lestrade, clean this mess up now. 478 00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:29,980 The game is a-starting. Yeah. 479 00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:37,199 Holmes: Who is this copycat pretending to be moriarty? 480 00:25:37,619 --> 00:25:40,076 Finally, a problem worthy of my brain. 481 00:25:40,164 --> 00:25:41,904 This birthday cake is delicious. 482 00:25:41,999 --> 00:25:43,330 Did you get a chance to try it? 483 00:25:43,417 --> 00:25:44,998 - No, there was a corpse in it. - Oh. 484 00:25:49,423 --> 00:25:50,423 Watson? 485 00:25:50,799 --> 00:25:51,834 On. 486 00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:53,461 Oh, my goodness. 487 00:25:53,802 --> 00:25:54,837 On. 488 00:25:55,471 --> 00:25:56,471 Finders keepers. 489 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:57,795 Yeah. 490 00:25:59,016 --> 00:26:00,827 Are you sure you wouldn't rather wait out here? 491 00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:02,454 The last time you were in the morgue, you... 492 00:26:02,478 --> 00:26:06,562 Watson, I am a man of stout constitution. 493 00:26:06,648 --> 00:26:09,515 Yes, of course. I just thought, after the last time, 494 00:26:09,610 --> 00:26:10,975 with the... 495 00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:13,147 And the... 496 00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:16,022 Merely a bout of stomach influenza. 497 00:26:16,116 --> 00:26:17,401 Yes, but the time before that? 498 00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:19,734 - Bad clams. - And before that? 499 00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:21,443 I shook hands with a prostitute. 500 00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:22,744 Yes. 501 00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,373 No, no. Put that away. 502 00:26:26,502 --> 00:26:31,496 I'm not some vaporous, giggling, fainting maiden who... 503 00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:39,381 Oh, ye of little... 504 00:26:43,102 --> 00:26:44,302 It's nothing to be ashamed of. 505 00:26:44,353 --> 00:26:47,345 I think I'm starting to feel a bit... 506 00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:48,479 I wouldn't... 507 00:26:48,565 --> 00:26:50,430 - Are you... - No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine. 508 00:26:50,526 --> 00:26:53,233 'Cause if you start to feel sick, then I'll start to feel... 509 00:26:58,367 --> 00:27:00,528 Surely, I must be done. Yes. 510 00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,781 Next to impossible to still... 511 00:27:10,212 --> 00:27:11,327 There you are. 512 00:27:11,713 --> 00:27:13,544 - All done. - Yes, there. 513 00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:16,694 - Would you like some water? - Did you say water... 514 00:27:16,718 --> 00:27:18,800 Sorry. I'm sorry. 515 00:27:19,596 --> 00:27:21,177 Shall we begin the autopsy? 516 00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:23,965 Oh, thank goodness these cleaning women are here 517 00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:25,286 to clean up this dreadful mess. 518 00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:27,016 - Someone's made sick. - Oh. 519 00:27:27,104 --> 00:27:29,516 My dear Watson, these women 520 00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:31,406 are far too well-dressed to be cleaning women. 521 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:35,442 They're here to identify their well-to-do husbands' bodies. 522 00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:36,977 Sorry for your loss. 523 00:27:37,156 --> 00:27:39,488 Thank you, but I am the doctor. 524 00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:42,991 Look, Watson, grief has scrambled her brain. 525 00:27:43,078 --> 00:27:44,943 - Mmm. - She thinks she's a doctor. 526 00:27:45,038 --> 00:27:48,246 Fortunately, miss, there's a real doctor here 527 00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:49,539 who may help you. 528 00:27:49,877 --> 00:27:51,117 Would you like some heroin? 529 00:27:51,587 --> 00:27:53,669 Dr. Watson, I presume. 530 00:27:53,755 --> 00:27:55,962 And you must be Sherlock Holmes. 531 00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:58,085 Dr. grace hart of Boston. 532 00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:00,463 A woman doctor? 533 00:28:00,554 --> 00:28:02,966 - What times we live in. - Grace: Yes. 534 00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:05,847 In America, we're much more progressive. 535 00:28:05,934 --> 00:28:08,721 I now make 30 cents for every dollar a man earns. 536 00:28:08,812 --> 00:28:11,428 What does "doctor" mean in America? 537 00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:13,263 It means "doctor." 538 00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:15,314 You're Dr. g. Hart? 539 00:28:15,402 --> 00:28:17,108 Of Boston? Yes. 540 00:28:17,279 --> 00:28:19,816 Holmes, we're in the presence of a pioneer. 541 00:28:19,907 --> 00:28:22,614 Dr. hart's work with the use of electroshock therapy 542 00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:24,987 to cure female hysteria is groundbreaking. 543 00:28:25,078 --> 00:28:28,991 Yes, I proved the higher the voltage, the more demons are released. 544 00:28:29,082 --> 00:28:30,242 Well, of course. 545 00:28:30,334 --> 00:28:32,325 Some of my patients live as long as a week. 546 00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:35,001 "Doctor"? Spelled d-o-c-t-o-r? 547 00:28:35,088 --> 00:28:36,624 Yes. 548 00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:38,921 This is my aide, Millicent. 549 00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:42,626 She's very shy, but a wonderful traveling companion. 550 00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:46,004 Shall we proceed to the examination? 551 00:28:46,683 --> 00:28:48,674 - Please. - Our cadaver awaits. 552 00:28:50,771 --> 00:28:52,136 No, no, no. 553 00:28:52,231 --> 00:28:53,562 Here. 554 00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,105 Mr. Holmes, you look rather unwell. 555 00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:59,481 Perhaps you would rather stay here and keep Millicent company. 556 00:29:02,658 --> 00:29:03,898 Sherlock Holmes. 557 00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:05,552 Charmed to meet... 558 00:29:07,621 --> 00:29:08,701 To meet you. 559 00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:11,575 Grace: Millicent is the subject of my research. 560 00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:13,749 She was raised by feral cats. 561 00:29:13,835 --> 00:29:15,996 She has the mental capacity of a four-year-old, 562 00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:19,171 but it is my belief that, with sufficient electroshock therapy, 563 00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:22,091 she can achieve the intellect of a six-year-old. 564 00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:24,177 We are truly in the golden age of medicine. 565 00:29:24,263 --> 00:29:25,865 There's nothing left to learn. 566 00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:26,889 No. 567 00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:30,431 Holmes: What a creature you are. 568 00:29:41,321 --> 00:29:44,404 You're devouring that onion with such passion. 569 00:29:47,494 --> 00:29:48,984 It's strangely arousing. 570 00:29:50,580 --> 00:29:52,320 Dr. Watson, I have always been taken 571 00:29:52,416 --> 00:29:55,328 by your unwavering devotion to Mr. Holmes, 572 00:29:55,419 --> 00:29:58,877 but haven't you ever considered something more? 573 00:30:00,048 --> 00:30:02,505 Perhaps a co-detective? 574 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,381 He and I? 575 00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:07,586 Co-detectives®? 576 00:30:07,681 --> 00:30:08,681 Yes. 577 00:30:08,765 --> 00:30:10,596 Oh, the very idea! 578 00:30:11,059 --> 00:30:13,391 - Uh... - Solving crimes together? 579 00:30:14,604 --> 00:30:16,845 Laughing and enjoying the esprit de corps 580 00:30:16,940 --> 00:30:19,602 of two best friends pursuing a noble cause! 581 00:30:19,693 --> 00:30:21,229 Madness. No, dear. 582 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,777 No. No, not I. 583 00:30:25,073 --> 00:30:26,404 Not here. 584 00:30:27,284 --> 00:30:31,493 Not even in my most rapturous moments of private fantasy. 585 00:30:37,377 --> 00:30:40,915 Anyway, let's go clean this cake-covered bastard, shall we? 586 00:30:44,801 --> 00:30:46,757 Watson: The wonders of modern medicine. 587 00:30:50,807 --> 00:30:53,139 Now, you're going to laugh, 588 00:30:53,226 --> 00:30:55,433 but I found the most important tool of an autopsy is... 589 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:56,600 Music. 590 00:30:58,023 --> 00:30:59,263 Yes. 591 00:30:59,358 --> 00:31:00,393 You, too? 592 00:31:07,574 --> 00:31:10,190 Man: Oh, my love 593 00:31:10,285 --> 00:31:12,241 this one always gets me in the mood. 594 00:31:14,581 --> 00:31:16,287 So begins the dance. 595 00:31:25,008 --> 00:31:27,374 - You have some dribble. - Hmm? 596 00:31:27,469 --> 00:31:29,710 Just a touch of dribble right... 597 00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:40,684 And time goes by... 598 00:31:40,774 --> 00:31:45,188 There is something so sensual about forensic autopsy, isn't there? 599 00:32:08,677 --> 00:32:10,133 You are a delight. 600 00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:13,462 Your eyes say more than words ever could. 601 00:32:17,519 --> 00:32:18,850 Hmm. 602 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:22,930 The tincture of ammonia and scrotum. 603 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,311 Hello, inspector lestrade. 604 00:32:27,529 --> 00:32:29,110 We have combed the manifests 605 00:32:29,197 --> 00:32:32,064 of every ship to set sail for the americas 606 00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:35,276 and found not a single moriarty. 607 00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:38,533 Moriarty's too cunning to use his own name. 608 00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:40,284 He's sailing under an alias. 609 00:32:40,459 --> 00:32:42,478 Watson: Ah, here we are. 610 00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:44,743 So, after a thorough... 611 00:32:44,921 --> 00:32:46,286 Very thorough. 612 00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:49,956 - Stop. - No, you stop. 613 00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:53,009 Examination of the body... 614 00:32:53,096 --> 00:32:57,635 And I must say, Dr. hart made some beautiful lateral incisions there. 615 00:32:57,726 --> 00:33:02,811 No, watching you flay the skin from his face so gently! 616 00:33:02,898 --> 00:33:05,230 - I would flay 1,000 faces for you. - And the way... 617 00:33:05,317 --> 00:33:06,807 Just tell me what you found! 618 00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:09,025 Yes. 619 00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:10,693 Cause of death indeterminate. 620 00:33:10,780 --> 00:33:12,111 I estrade: Indeterminate? 621 00:33:12,199 --> 00:33:13,484 What do you mean? 622 00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:15,111 It means he doesn't know. 623 00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:17,404 Proceed, Watson. “Watson: Yes. 624 00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:21,868 We found a freshly applied tattoo of a cross 625 00:33:21,958 --> 00:33:24,290 and the numbers one and 20. 626 00:33:24,794 --> 00:33:26,625 I have the oddest feeling. 627 00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:29,288 It's like knowing, but the opposite. 628 00:33:29,466 --> 00:33:30,922 Meaning you haven't a clue. 629 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:34,467 Who is this genius pretender who's taken moriarty's place, 630 00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:38,012 committing crimes exactly the way he would? 631 00:33:38,808 --> 00:33:40,764 Holmes: A fantastic new case. 632 00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:43,093 I'm aroused both mentally and physically. 633 00:33:43,188 --> 00:33:46,897 I was wondering, rather than working beside you on this case, 634 00:33:46,983 --> 00:33:49,599 I might work with you as a sort of... 635 00:33:49,861 --> 00:33:51,601 Grace called it a "co-detective." 636 00:33:52,072 --> 00:33:55,985 One cannot simply just make someone a detective. 637 00:33:56,076 --> 00:33:57,407 It must be earned. 638 00:33:57,494 --> 00:33:59,951 Well, I deduced you might say that, 639 00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:04,873 which is why, when we arrive home, I propose a game of chess. 640 00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:07,125 If I should best you, 641 00:34:07,212 --> 00:34:09,168 then surely I possess the mental power... 642 00:34:09,256 --> 00:34:11,713 Checkmate! Checkmate. 643 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,007 What? We haven't started yet. 644 00:34:14,302 --> 00:34:15,988 You would have opened with the queen's gambit. 645 00:34:16,012 --> 00:34:18,173 Oh, indeed. A reliable first move. 646 00:34:18,265 --> 00:34:19,909 I would have countered with a slav defense. 647 00:34:19,933 --> 00:34:22,800 Oh! An audacious move. Quite unexpected. 648 00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:25,351 You would have panicked, thus exposing your queen. 649 00:34:25,438 --> 00:34:26,438 No, not my queen! 650 00:34:26,523 --> 00:34:30,015 Seeing your queen exposed would have compelled you to defend her. 651 00:34:30,110 --> 00:34:33,068 Indeed. It is my duty in chess as in life. 652 00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:35,190 Thereby neglecting my castle. 653 00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:38,615 Checkmate. 654 00:34:39,911 --> 00:34:41,196 Perhaps another game? 655 00:34:41,288 --> 00:34:43,119 Rock-paper-scissors. 656 00:34:43,206 --> 00:34:45,618 Rock, rock, paper, paper, scissors, paper, 657 00:34:45,709 --> 00:34:47,791 rock, scissors, paper, rock. 658 00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:49,670 Dash it all! 659 00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:51,039 What about battleship? 660 00:34:51,214 --> 00:34:53,796 Holmes: D-3, e-3, f-3, and g-3. 661 00:34:53,883 --> 00:34:56,044 Watson: Damn it, you've sunk my battleship. 662 00:34:56,136 --> 00:34:57,967 Holmes: You're a good man, Watson, 663 00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,136 but you're not ready. 664 00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:02,673 But why? 665 00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:05,053 If you were ready, you'd know why. 666 00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:17,445 Watson: Let the game begin. 667 00:35:18,033 --> 00:35:19,523 A piece for a piece. 668 00:35:20,285 --> 00:35:21,821 Two can play at that game. 669 00:35:41,514 --> 00:35:42,549 Mmm. 670 00:35:45,268 --> 00:35:46,383 Peekaboo. 671 00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:51,638 Ah. Checkmate. 672 00:35:52,317 --> 00:35:54,603 And to the Victor, the spoils. 673 00:35:58,239 --> 00:35:59,800 You'll never be co-detective. 674 00:36:05,914 --> 00:36:08,747 Watson, I'm near a breakthrough. 675 00:36:08,917 --> 00:36:14,753 My hypothesis is the true cause of death is ink poisoning via the fresh tattoo. 676 00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:16,249 But I need your help. 677 00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:20,208 You want me to be co-detective? 678 00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:21,793 Mmm-mmm. 679 00:36:22,055 --> 00:36:24,421 I'm awfully sorry, Dr. Watson. 680 00:36:25,058 --> 00:36:26,264 Sorry for what? 681 00:36:26,351 --> 00:36:28,091 Mr. Holmes left me no choice. 682 00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:30,552 May you rest in peace. “What's she on about? 683 00:36:30,647 --> 00:36:34,560 All will be clear in three, two, one. 684 00:36:36,945 --> 00:36:37,945 Excuse me. 685 00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:39,235 I'll take that. 686 00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,491 It's just something caught in my throat. 687 00:36:41,825 --> 00:36:43,065 Oh, no. 688 00:36:43,159 --> 00:36:44,399 I poisoned you. 689 00:36:44,494 --> 00:36:45,825 Why? 690 00:36:45,912 --> 00:36:47,448 To test my theory. 691 00:36:47,539 --> 00:36:49,075 Am I going to die? 692 00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:50,450 No, I have an antidote. 693 00:36:50,542 --> 00:36:52,954 - Oh. - But I need to see it play out. 694 00:36:53,753 --> 00:36:55,163 Now, let's see here. 695 00:36:55,672 --> 00:36:57,400 Redness around the mouth. Good. 696 00:36:57,424 --> 00:36:58,424 Help me. 697 00:36:58,758 --> 00:37:01,124 You will have temporary brain damage. 698 00:37:02,971 --> 00:37:04,757 Wake up, Watson. Wake up. 699 00:37:04,848 --> 00:37:06,258 We have work to do. Watson. 700 00:37:07,142 --> 00:37:08,848 Who's Watson? I'll kill him! 701 00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:10,266 You son of a bitch! 702 00:37:10,353 --> 00:37:11,433 Violent aggression. 703 00:37:11,521 --> 00:37:13,432 Oh, please give me the antidote. 704 00:37:13,523 --> 00:37:14,763 Drama queen syndrome. 705 00:37:14,858 --> 00:37:17,099 Why am I doing this? 706 00:37:17,193 --> 00:37:18,399 Confused mime. 707 00:37:18,486 --> 00:37:21,398 Oh! Does this suit make me look fat? 708 00:37:21,489 --> 00:37:23,104 Body image dysmorphia. 709 00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:24,981 My eyes! 710 00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:27,237 - Sensitivity to light. - My eyes! It burns! 711 00:37:28,621 --> 00:37:30,612 Excruciating abdominal pain. 712 00:37:31,374 --> 00:37:32,864 Yes, it's confirmed. 713 00:37:32,959 --> 00:37:34,950 It was poison. Come, Watson. 714 00:37:35,044 --> 00:37:36,284 I et us not be late. 715 00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:39,420 Oh! Of course. 716 00:37:39,507 --> 00:37:40,542 I actation. 717 00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:44,375 - Why? - Come along, Watson. 718 00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:45,711 I'll explain in the cab. 719 00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:50,093 There we go. 720 00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:51,891 Oh, thank god for this antidote. 721 00:37:51,978 --> 00:37:54,390 I feel as though I've completely recovered. 722 00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:56,479 Yes, you have. 723 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:00,440 There. 724 00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:01,692 So where are we going? 725 00:38:01,863 --> 00:38:03,899 The fact that the victim was poisoned 726 00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:07,824 suggests the killer lacked physical strength to overpower him. 727 00:38:07,994 --> 00:38:10,986 The tattoos you examined have an uneven quality. 728 00:38:11,331 --> 00:38:14,915 It leads me to believe that they were drawn by a one-armed man. 729 00:38:15,084 --> 00:38:17,496 A one-armed man. 730 00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:18,827 Yes. 731 00:38:19,005 --> 00:38:20,836 A weak man who would use poison. 732 00:38:20,924 --> 00:38:25,839 There is only one one-armed tattoo artist in all of London. 733 00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:28,845 The nefarious Gustav klinger. 734 00:38:29,307 --> 00:38:32,299 Dorset street! And don't spare the horses! 735 00:38:32,393 --> 00:38:33,633 Dorset street. 736 00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:37,429 Home of drunkards, thieves, and hairy, old whores. 737 00:38:37,690 --> 00:38:40,227 Holmes: And, if my theory is correct, the killer. 738 00:38:40,527 --> 00:38:42,859 Woman: Hello, gorgeous. 739 00:38:43,947 --> 00:38:47,690 Though all is calm now, we must be on highest alert. 740 00:38:49,619 --> 00:38:52,861 Shall we ask someone if they've seen our one-armed Mr. klinger? 741 00:38:52,956 --> 00:38:56,414 This neighborhood does not welcome curious outsiders. 742 00:38:56,501 --> 00:38:58,287 Excuse me. Have you the time? 743 00:38:58,461 --> 00:39:01,828 Not for you, outsider. 744 00:39:01,923 --> 00:39:03,538 Merciful god. 745 00:39:03,633 --> 00:39:05,214 Holmes: We must blend in. 746 00:39:05,301 --> 00:39:09,294 Fortunately, my time tripping the boards has made me a master of disguise. 747 00:39:09,389 --> 00:39:10,389 Yes. 748 00:39:17,105 --> 00:39:18,140 Watson: You. 749 00:39:18,231 --> 00:39:19,596 What have you done with Sherlock? 750 00:39:19,983 --> 00:39:21,018 Why, Watson, 751 00:39:22,235 --> 00:39:23,315 I never left. 752 00:39:25,613 --> 00:39:27,194 - Amazing. - Yes, I know. 753 00:39:27,407 --> 00:39:29,693 Yes, you've outdone yourself this time. 754 00:39:29,784 --> 00:39:30,944 Now... 755 00:39:31,661 --> 00:39:32,901 - Huh? - No. 756 00:39:32,996 --> 00:39:34,452 - Still me. - It's you? 757 00:39:34,539 --> 00:39:36,200 It's still Sherlock. 758 00:39:36,291 --> 00:39:38,247 - All right. - Rest assured. 759 00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:39,574 It's very convincing. 760 00:39:39,752 --> 00:39:41,162 Now for your disguise. 761 00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:43,078 Oh, what will it be? 762 00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:48,333 Yes. You, my friend, 763 00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:54,556 shall play a down-on-your-luck horseshit salesman. 764 00:39:54,809 --> 00:39:56,470 Sema ss ds 765 00:39:57,020 --> 00:39:58,385 yes. Yes. 766 00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:01,437 Come, Watson. We have 3 one-armed killer to catch. 767 00:40:01,941 --> 00:40:02,976 (Get into character. 768 00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:05,103 Watson: Horseshit for sale! Holmes: There you go. 769 00:40:05,194 --> 00:40:07,381 Watson: Who will buy my horse's shit? Man: I'll take some. 770 00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:10,272 - No one must know our true purpose. - Mmm. 771 00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:12,322 What you toffs want? 772 00:40:12,869 --> 00:40:16,828 To buy a pint for any man who can raise two hands. 773 00:40:20,168 --> 00:40:22,329 Every man has both arms. 774 00:40:22,629 --> 00:40:23,789 Klinger isn't here. 775 00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:26,003 Our journey continues. 776 00:40:26,841 --> 00:40:29,127 Blend in like a common oaf. Yes. 777 00:40:31,346 --> 00:40:33,132 Holmes: Keep drinking. We need to fit in. 778 00:40:33,222 --> 00:40:34,222 Cheers. 779 00:40:35,642 --> 00:40:36,642 Cheers! 780 00:40:36,976 --> 00:40:38,716 More, more, more! 781 00:40:42,815 --> 00:40:44,351 Oi! Of! Of 782 00:40:51,032 --> 00:40:52,468 They have boxing here. 783 00:40:52,492 --> 00:40:53,982 Watson: I don't care if he's small! 784 00:40:54,077 --> 00:40:55,863 Watson: Kill! Woman: Come on, fight! 785 00:40:58,414 --> 00:40:59,850 Shouldn't we be looking for klinger? 786 00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:01,830 - Who cares about klinger? - Exactly! 787 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,086 Release the child! 788 00:41:07,173 --> 00:41:09,004 Let go of that boy! I want him dead! 789 00:41:09,092 --> 00:41:10,673 Watson: Sweet river of piss. 790 00:41:13,137 --> 00:41:14,502 You have real force there. 791 00:41:15,765 --> 00:41:17,175 Arc of stream. 792 00:41:17,266 --> 00:41:18,676 Direction of wind. 793 00:41:18,768 --> 00:41:20,599 Compensate for shy penis. 794 00:41:20,687 --> 00:41:22,518 Avoid splash on shoes. 795 00:41:23,106 --> 00:41:25,062 And release fluids. 796 00:41:25,149 --> 00:41:26,309 Oh, my goodness. 797 00:41:26,776 --> 00:41:29,643 Damn it, I forgot to unzip my pants. 798 00:41:30,279 --> 00:41:31,860 You really are a genius. 799 00:41:31,948 --> 00:41:33,028 - Oh, watch it. - Oh, sorry. 800 00:41:34,367 --> 00:41:36,198 Watson: I should like to send a telegram. 801 00:41:36,995 --> 00:41:38,656 Grace. Stop. 802 00:41:40,873 --> 00:41:43,114 Are you awake? Stop. 803 00:41:45,628 --> 00:41:47,710 Uh, you're such a pretty doctor lady. 804 00:41:48,047 --> 00:41:49,662 Ooh! 805 00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:51,502 Are you quite sure this is a good idea? 806 00:41:51,592 --> 00:41:52,957 This is wonderful. 807 00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:56,294 The combination of the late hour and your drunkenness 808 00:41:56,389 --> 00:41:59,802 allows for communication of exceptional honesty. 809 00:41:59,892 --> 00:42:00,892 Quite right. 810 00:42:00,977 --> 00:42:02,683 I will call it an intoxigram. 811 00:42:02,770 --> 00:42:05,307 And no one shall ever regret sending one. 812 00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:08,390 Now, lay bare the fruits of your inebriation. 813 00:42:08,484 --> 00:42:09,815 Ask her what she's wearing. 814 00:42:10,236 --> 00:42:12,101 What are you wearing? Stop. 815 00:42:12,655 --> 00:42:13,690 "What are you wearing?" 816 00:42:13,781 --> 00:42:14,987 Bloomers? 817 00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:18,240 - Probably. - What color? Stop. 818 00:42:18,327 --> 00:42:20,192 A brassiere? 819 00:42:20,288 --> 00:42:22,324 I'd wager you'd look good in anything. 820 00:42:22,415 --> 00:42:23,746 Wonderful. - Stop. 821 00:42:23,833 --> 00:42:25,915 Shall I ask what Millie thinks about you? 822 00:42:26,002 --> 00:42:27,037 Um... 823 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,127 I don't care. Sure. Why not? 824 00:42:30,214 --> 00:42:32,375 What does Millie think of Sherlock? 825 00:42:32,467 --> 00:42:36,130 Does Millie ever drip wax over her body? 826 00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:38,461 Hot wax. Stop. 827 00:42:38,848 --> 00:42:40,492 - Okay. That's enough. “Watson: Yeah, I think so. 828 00:42:40,516 --> 00:42:44,054 Now show her how she makes you feel. Huh? 829 00:42:44,604 --> 00:42:46,219 Just go ahead. Display it. 830 00:42:47,523 --> 00:42:48,523 There. 831 00:42:48,608 --> 00:42:50,098 Telegraph a picture of this. 832 00:42:50,234 --> 00:42:53,317 And make sure you get the banger and the beans. 833 00:42:53,404 --> 00:42:54,735 Focus on the mushroom. 834 00:42:54,906 --> 00:42:57,568 Are you positive I shan't regret this in the morning? 835 00:42:57,700 --> 00:42:59,565 You absolutely will. 836 00:42:59,660 --> 00:43:01,196 - Silence, youl! - Say it again. 837 00:43:01,287 --> 00:43:02,567 - Say it again. I dare you. - Oh! 838 00:43:02,622 --> 00:43:03,932 Please say it. Please say it again. 839 00:43:03,956 --> 00:43:05,768 Do you think you would be the first man I've killed? 840 00:43:05,792 --> 00:43:07,623 I have the penis of a baby doll. 841 00:43:11,172 --> 00:43:12,708 It's just a statement of fact. 842 00:43:17,762 --> 00:43:22,051 Oh, well, Watson, after a night of drinking, I could eat a whole pie. 843 00:43:24,393 --> 00:43:25,883 Ah! Cakes, indeed! 844 00:43:25,978 --> 00:43:29,141 Yes. Yes, cakes stacked on cakes. 845 00:43:30,233 --> 00:43:31,973 We should open a restaurant called 846 00:43:32,068 --> 00:43:35,902 the international house of cakes stacked upon other cakes. 847 00:43:36,155 --> 00:43:39,192 Yes, and you can only eat there after a night of drinking. 848 00:43:39,283 --> 00:43:41,345 Well, speaking of the night, I fear it's a night wasted. 849 00:43:41,369 --> 00:43:43,109 - No sign of klinger anywhere. - Mmm. 850 00:43:44,288 --> 00:43:45,869 Not so fast, Watson. 851 00:43:46,207 --> 00:43:48,789 I ook at those two men and their tattoos. 852 00:43:49,168 --> 00:43:50,453 I don't understand. 853 00:43:50,795 --> 00:43:53,207 We haven't been able to find the tattoo artist. 854 00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:56,004 Perhaps we should follow the tattoos. 855 00:44:00,221 --> 00:44:01,461 Watson: A gymnasium? 856 00:44:01,556 --> 00:44:03,638 You really think klinger would be here, Holmes? 857 00:44:03,724 --> 00:44:05,931 Look alive, Watson. He could be anywhere. 858 00:44:06,811 --> 00:44:09,052 Trainer: Three, two, one. 859 00:44:09,397 --> 00:44:11,979 Pick it up. Pick it up. That's it. 860 00:44:12,066 --> 00:44:14,307 Instructor: Out with the bad air, in with the good. 861 00:44:14,402 --> 00:44:15,754 Watson: Look at these health nuts. 862 00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:17,172 Instructor: Big deep breath. 863 00:44:17,196 --> 00:44:19,528 Watson: Obsessed with the purifying effects of smoke. 864 00:44:19,615 --> 00:44:23,199 Instructor: All right, good lungful of the cleansing vapors. 865 00:44:23,452 --> 00:44:25,784 I don't think he's here, Holmes. 866 00:44:26,247 --> 00:44:28,363 Man: Hello, hello, hello! 867 00:44:28,457 --> 00:44:30,322 Sherlock Holmes. 868 00:44:30,418 --> 00:44:31,498 Holmes: Ah. 869 00:44:32,003 --> 00:44:33,584 You must be Gustav klinger, 870 00:44:33,671 --> 00:44:36,253 the one-armed tattoo artist of dorset street. 871 00:44:36,924 --> 00:44:38,289 I cooks like it. 872 00:44:40,636 --> 00:44:44,220 Gustav klinger, I accuse you of poisoning Jimmy gruber 873 00:44:44,307 --> 00:44:46,343 and baking him into a large cake. 874 00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:50,760 A deliciously large cake that I baked myself. 875 00:44:51,022 --> 00:44:52,387 Oh, please. 876 00:44:52,607 --> 00:44:53,813 How dare you! 877 00:44:54,066 --> 00:44:56,227 You did not bake that cake. 878 00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,726 Not only did I bake it. I decorated it, too. 879 00:44:58,988 --> 00:44:59,988 Impossible. 880 00:45:00,072 --> 00:45:01,437 It's got a frosting attachment. 881 00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:02,738 You're trying to tell me 882 00:45:02,825 --> 00:45:05,942 that a one-armed man made a professional, bakery-quality cake 883 00:45:06,037 --> 00:45:07,243 fit for the queen. Watson. 884 00:45:07,330 --> 00:45:09,571 - It's just... it... - It doesn't matter 885 00:45:09,665 --> 00:45:11,101 - if he baked the cake or not. - It really bugs... I know. 886 00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:12,561 - It really... “Watson: Best cake I've ever eaten. 887 00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:14,792 - I did bake the cake. - All right, fine. 888 00:45:14,879 --> 00:45:16,415 You "baked the cake." 889 00:45:16,547 --> 00:45:18,913 I didn't "bake a cake." 890 00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:20,880 I baked a cake. 891 00:45:20,968 --> 00:45:22,003 Then you admit it. 892 00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:24,089 You killed Jimmy gruber. 893 00:45:24,180 --> 00:45:25,740 Klinger: And what if I did, Mr. Holmes? 894 00:45:26,307 --> 00:45:29,219 It's not as if you're in a position to do anything about it. 895 00:45:29,435 --> 00:45:31,471 He's right, Sherlock Holmes. 896 00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:35,354 You've walked straight into our trap. 897 00:45:35,983 --> 00:45:37,723 - Moriarty. - Quiet, Watson. 898 00:45:37,985 --> 00:45:41,477 In the name of the queen, I arrest you both. 899 00:45:41,864 --> 00:45:43,650 Oh, come, Sherlock. 900 00:45:44,242 --> 00:45:45,982 You don't think it'll be that easy. 901 00:45:46,077 --> 00:45:48,409 You won't be leaving here alive, Mr. Holmes, 902 00:45:49,247 --> 00:45:53,707 unless, of course, you fight your way out of the hexagon. 903 00:45:57,213 --> 00:45:58,453 Where are you pointing? 904 00:45:59,882 --> 00:46:00,882 There. 905 00:46:01,008 --> 00:46:02,088 This way or that way? 906 00:46:02,885 --> 00:46:03,965 There. 907 00:46:04,053 --> 00:46:05,543 Holmes: Oh. Klinger: The hexagon. 908 00:46:05,638 --> 00:46:07,720 But I won't fight a one-armed man. 909 00:46:07,807 --> 00:46:09,672 Oh, no. I've got this, Sherlock. 910 00:46:10,768 --> 00:46:13,128 It won't be the first time I've fought a cripple. 911 00:46:13,354 --> 00:46:14,469 Oh, uh... 912 00:46:14,563 --> 00:46:15,928 You won't be fighting me. 913 00:46:16,107 --> 00:46:18,063 Nah, nah, nah. 914 00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:19,607 You're fighting my mate. 915 00:46:20,069 --> 00:46:21,934 Meet brawn. 916 00:46:39,839 --> 00:46:41,454 Oh, come on. 917 00:46:43,009 --> 00:46:44,249 Well, I call bullshit. 918 00:46:48,222 --> 00:46:50,679 I fear it might be suicide to fight this man. 919 00:46:50,766 --> 00:46:53,007 I think it's mostly psychological. 920 00:46:56,272 --> 00:46:58,854 I'm psychologically scared shitless right now. 921 00:46:58,941 --> 00:47:01,432 Crowd: Fight! Fight! Fight! 922 00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:05,902 Okay. Okay. 923 00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:08,857 But if you want to watch this fight, you have to pay. 924 00:47:08,951 --> 00:47:10,361 You have to pay to view it. 925 00:47:10,453 --> 00:47:13,695 This is a pay-to-view-it fight. 926 00:47:13,789 --> 00:47:15,825 Watson: Yes, I know it seems a bit unfair, 927 00:47:15,916 --> 00:47:17,622 but if you split it among a few friends 928 00:47:17,710 --> 00:47:19,325 and buy some beers, some pizza, 929 00:47:19,420 --> 00:47:21,502 it could be a fun thing to do with the guys. 930 00:47:21,714 --> 00:47:26,299 It's time! 931 00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:28,922 Let's get ready to scuffle! 932 00:47:31,015 --> 00:47:33,381 Crowd: Scuffle! Scuffle! Scuffle! 933 00:47:33,476 --> 00:47:34,476 Man: Nicel 934 00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:35,845 Holmes: What is she doing here? 935 00:47:35,978 --> 00:47:37,138 It's 6:00 in the morning. 936 00:47:37,521 --> 00:47:38,761 Holmes, I don't know why... 937 00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:40,687 - Yes. - But that really jacked me up. 938 00:47:40,775 --> 00:47:42,811 - Ah! - I think I might stand a chance. 939 00:47:42,902 --> 00:47:44,733 It reminds me of Istanbul. 940 00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:47,277 Exactly. And what did I beat in Istanbul? 941 00:47:47,615 --> 00:47:49,276 - Syphilis! - Syphilis! Exactly. 942 00:47:49,367 --> 00:47:50,607 - Go get him. - All right. 943 00:47:51,369 --> 00:47:52,404 Come on! 944 00:47:52,495 --> 00:47:53,860 "Come on"? You come on! 945 00:47:53,954 --> 00:47:55,410 You! 946 00:47:55,498 --> 00:47:56,954 You mountain of flesh. 947 00:48:05,966 --> 00:48:07,706 Your turn, Mr. Holmes! 948 00:48:08,177 --> 00:48:10,543 Yes, I know. Of course I'm next. 949 00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:17,641 Holmes: Opponent, 350 pounds. 950 00:48:18,020 --> 00:48:19,260 Use pipe. 951 00:48:19,563 --> 00:48:22,179 Create diversion to distract his gaze. 952 00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:25,149 Plan of attack, 953 00:48:26,028 --> 00:48:28,815 surprise first blow to center of mass. 954 00:48:28,906 --> 00:48:31,147 Gracefully dodge counterpunch. 955 00:48:31,700 --> 00:48:33,440 Employ visual impairment. 956 00:48:34,954 --> 00:48:36,990 Easily duck wild swing. 957 00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:40,706 Utilize Tibetan ototoxic method 958 00:48:40,793 --> 00:48:42,374 to disrupt his balance. 959 00:48:44,130 --> 00:48:45,370 Grab facial hair. 960 00:48:45,464 --> 00:48:46,749 Use for leverage. 961 00:48:47,216 --> 00:48:49,127 Okinawan beard flip. 962 00:48:51,679 --> 00:48:53,340 Enemy incapacitated. 963 00:48:54,098 --> 00:48:55,178 Catch pipe. 964 00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:58,591 Revel in crowd's adulation. 965 00:49:14,118 --> 00:49:15,198 Oh, no. 966 00:49:18,581 --> 00:49:19,661 Good show, Watson. 967 00:49:19,748 --> 00:49:21,284 Thank you, Holmes. 968 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:24,245 Break his pelvis. 969 00:49:24,753 --> 00:49:26,289 Go! Again! 970 00:49:27,006 --> 00:49:28,871 Club him like a baby seal. 971 00:49:34,180 --> 00:49:36,091 - What have I done? - No, you're fine. 972 00:49:36,390 --> 00:49:37,880 - Okay. - Now, 973 00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:41,308 tell us everything you know about the plot to kill the queen. 974 00:49:42,188 --> 00:49:43,188 All right. 975 00:49:43,481 --> 00:49:45,142 I'll tell you everything I know. 976 00:49:47,318 --> 00:49:48,808 I've been stabbed in the back. 977 00:49:51,530 --> 00:49:52,736 Meaning? Oh. 978 00:49:52,823 --> 00:49:54,529 Metaphorically speaking, yes. 979 00:49:54,617 --> 00:49:57,450 No, I've literally been stabbed in the back... 980 00:49:59,747 --> 00:50:01,032 Holmes, he's escaping. 981 00:50:10,049 --> 00:50:11,664 So moriarty is in england. 982 00:50:11,759 --> 00:50:14,751 Watson. Does it look like moriarty 983 00:50:14,929 --> 00:50:16,385 now? 984 00:50:16,931 --> 00:50:18,091 Who is this? 985 00:50:18,349 --> 00:50:19,805 Jacob musgrave, 986 00:50:20,434 --> 00:50:22,220 as I've been saying all along. 987 00:50:22,645 --> 00:50:24,727 A man who looks so much like moriarty, 988 00:50:24,813 --> 00:50:27,429 a simple beard fooled almost everyone. 989 00:50:27,525 --> 00:50:28,856 All right, I admit it. 990 00:50:28,943 --> 00:50:30,353 I am no moriarty. 991 00:50:30,861 --> 00:50:32,397 My name is musgrave, 992 00:50:32,488 --> 00:50:33,819 just like he says. 993 00:50:35,199 --> 00:50:36,780 - Wow. - Holmes: Who put you up to this? 994 00:50:37,284 --> 00:50:40,026 Oh, they've been leaving me notes telling me what to do. 995 00:50:40,579 --> 00:50:41,694 I don't know who it is. 996 00:50:41,789 --> 00:50:43,950 I swear, I'm just a simple wanker. 997 00:50:44,208 --> 00:50:45,698 He's telling the truth, Watson. 998 00:50:46,210 --> 00:50:48,121 This morally deficient creature, 999 00:50:48,712 --> 00:50:52,330 this awful, awful excuse for a man, this... 1000 00:50:52,424 --> 00:50:54,710 - Bag of rubbish. - Yes, good one, Watson. Yes. 1001 00:50:54,802 --> 00:50:56,542 Come on, guys. I'm dying. 1002 00:50:56,637 --> 00:50:59,128 These are the wages of wanking, you see? 1003 00:50:59,223 --> 00:51:00,929 Wait, wait, wait. “What? 1004 00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:02,468 Just a... 1005 00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:03,640 Don't wank on us. 1006 00:51:05,187 --> 00:51:06,302 A coal. 1007 00:51:07,147 --> 00:51:09,638 Said you were to take it to newcastle. 1008 00:51:11,443 --> 00:51:13,559 - A lump of coal? “Musgrave: Yeah. 1009 00:51:13,779 --> 00:51:14,985 To newcastle? 1010 00:51:15,072 --> 00:51:16,562 Newcastle by the river? 1011 00:51:17,032 --> 00:51:19,865 Holmes: Perhaps this clue will lead us to the real mastermind. 1012 00:51:19,952 --> 00:51:20,952 Time is running out. 1013 00:51:21,036 --> 00:51:22,276 We must save the queen. 1014 00:51:22,371 --> 00:51:23,736 Good luck to you. 1015 00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:29,662 While speeding to London town 1016 00:51:29,753 --> 00:51:32,369 bad man he said we gotta get down 1017 00:51:32,464 --> 00:51:35,001 keep smiling and forget that frown 1018 00:51:35,092 --> 00:51:37,504 little reason to keep that crown 1019 00:51:37,595 --> 00:51:40,177 while speeding to London town 1020 00:51:40,264 --> 00:51:42,926 bad man he said we gotta get down 1021 00:51:43,017 --> 00:51:45,429 keep smiling and forget that frown... 1022 00:51:45,519 --> 00:51:48,602 Holmes: Bring these coals to newcastle. 1023 00:51:48,689 --> 00:51:49,974 Coals. 1024 00:51:50,524 --> 00:51:52,731 Coals. "Sherlock." 1025 00:51:52,818 --> 00:51:55,776 "Three days until I rewrite history and kill the queen.” 1026 00:51:55,863 --> 00:51:57,632 Grace: Millicent is the subject of my research. 1027 00:51:57,656 --> 00:51:58,736 Holmes: Coals to newcastle. 1028 00:51:58,782 --> 00:52:01,694 Talking to you, it's as if our brains are sharing a tandem bicycle. 1029 00:52:01,785 --> 00:52:03,054 Grace: She has the mental capacity of... 1030 00:52:03,078 --> 00:52:04,222 Holmes: Now you have but three days... 1031 00:52:04,246 --> 00:52:06,703 Bring these coals to newcastle. 1032 00:52:06,790 --> 00:52:09,657 Co-detective Sherlock and me 1033 00:52:09,752 --> 00:52:10,912 uh... oh. 1034 00:52:11,003 --> 00:52:12,539 Good morning, Sherlock. 1035 00:52:13,172 --> 00:52:14,708 - What's happened? - Well, I'm... 1036 00:52:14,798 --> 00:52:17,039 I'm trying to untangle this baffling clue. 1037 00:52:17,134 --> 00:52:18,169 Ah. 1038 00:52:18,260 --> 00:52:20,672 Ever since I met Millie, my mind is muddled. 1039 00:52:20,846 --> 00:52:24,885 Do you suppose she's infected me with some sort of a disease? 1040 00:52:25,059 --> 00:52:26,059 Disease? 1041 00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:27,508 My heart races. 1042 00:52:27,811 --> 00:52:29,051 My palms sweat. 1043 00:52:29,229 --> 00:52:30,844 I have all these feelings. 1044 00:52:30,981 --> 00:52:33,723 Holmes, get a hold of yourself. You're not sick. 1045 00:52:34,860 --> 00:52:35,895 You're in love. 1046 00:52:36,028 --> 00:52:37,984 I ove? Horseradish! 1047 00:52:38,113 --> 00:52:39,228 I'm a man of logic. 1048 00:52:39,323 --> 00:52:40,643 There's nothing to be ashamed of. 1049 00:52:40,699 --> 00:52:45,238 In fact, I, too, have been taken by this malady called love. 1050 00:52:45,746 --> 00:52:48,362 Grace has asked me to call upon her. 1051 00:52:48,874 --> 00:52:49,989 Apparently, 1052 00:52:50,668 --> 00:52:53,535 I sent her quite the charming telegram last night. 1053 00:52:55,047 --> 00:52:56,583 Watson, you've cracked it. 1054 00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:58,372 Have I? Co-detective? 1055 00:52:58,467 --> 00:52:59,547 Think, Watson. Uh... 1056 00:52:59,635 --> 00:53:01,216 Is there a single logical reason 1057 00:53:01,303 --> 00:53:03,134 for grace to want to seek your company? 1058 00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:05,046 Romantic interest? 1059 00:53:05,307 --> 00:53:06,968 - No. - My eyes? 1060 00:53:07,059 --> 00:53:08,174 It's all a ruse. 1061 00:53:08,268 --> 00:53:10,304 Moriarty escapes to America, 1062 00:53:10,396 --> 00:53:12,933 and then these two American women show up? 1063 00:53:13,399 --> 00:53:17,062 Sorry, you're saying grace is the killer? 1064 00:53:17,152 --> 00:53:19,859 Of course she's not the killer. She's an American. 1065 00:53:19,947 --> 00:53:22,233 - She would have used a gun. - Ah. Hmm. 1066 00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:25,236 No, grace is working for the killer. 1067 00:53:25,327 --> 00:53:26,362 On. 1068 00:53:26,453 --> 00:53:28,318 We shall seduce her, 1069 00:53:28,414 --> 00:53:30,245 and that will lead us to the murderer. 1070 00:53:30,541 --> 00:53:31,576 Mmm-hmm. 1071 00:53:32,042 --> 00:53:33,703 Yes. 1072 00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:36,692 Who could that be at this early hour? 1073 00:53:36,755 --> 00:53:38,416 Enter. 1074 00:53:44,805 --> 00:53:46,636 Watson: Her majesty. 1075 00:53:47,766 --> 00:53:49,597 Have you come to see me? 1076 00:53:50,728 --> 00:53:53,640 Mr. Holmes, I have but two days left to live 1077 00:53:53,731 --> 00:53:55,687 unless you can solve this case. 1078 00:53:56,608 --> 00:53:58,815 My queen, do come in. 1079 00:53:59,778 --> 00:54:02,064 I shall speak with Mr. Holmes in private. 1080 00:54:04,950 --> 00:54:06,110 Your majesty. 1081 00:54:06,493 --> 00:54:07,653 You'll be happy to know 1082 00:54:07,745 --> 00:54:10,532 that, just this morning we discovered a new clue. 1083 00:54:10,998 --> 00:54:12,454 This chunk of coal. 1084 00:54:12,916 --> 00:54:14,201 What does it mean? 1085 00:54:14,293 --> 00:54:15,874 It's quite a mystery. 1086 00:54:17,838 --> 00:54:19,203 Is this going to be a problem? 1087 00:54:19,631 --> 00:54:20,666 Watson. 1088 00:54:20,758 --> 00:54:23,044 Perhaps the queen would enjoy some tea. 1089 00:54:23,135 --> 00:54:24,545 Oh, yes, of course. 1090 00:54:26,096 --> 00:54:29,509 Mr. Holmes, the empire is depending on you. 1091 00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:32,888 Your majesty, I now suspect two American women 1092 00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:35,181 are somehow involved in this plot. 1093 00:54:36,315 --> 00:54:37,315 Sorry. 1094 00:54:38,108 --> 00:54:39,188 Your majesty, 1095 00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:42,644 do you think I could have a picture of us together? 1096 00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:44,896 But who is going to take the photograph? 1097 00:54:44,990 --> 00:54:46,730 Oh, no, I'll take the photograph. 1098 00:54:46,992 --> 00:54:49,449 You see, it's a type of a self-photograph. 1099 00:54:49,536 --> 00:54:51,902 I can take it, and I will be in it also. 1100 00:54:51,997 --> 00:54:54,864 You know what? I find, to take the most attractive photographs, 1101 00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:58,542 you need to purse your lips together like a duck-billed platypus. 1102 00:54:58,796 --> 00:55:00,752 Platypus face. Chins up. 1103 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,212 - Hey. - Hey. Hey, girl. 1104 00:55:05,302 --> 00:55:06,917 You know, maybe over by the window. 1105 00:55:07,012 --> 00:55:09,412 - The lighting's much better there. - Yes, yes, capital idea. 1106 00:55:10,641 --> 00:55:12,802 - Oh, god. Ma'am, ma'am. - Holmes: Oh! Oh! 1107 00:55:12,893 --> 00:55:14,633 Ma'am! Your majesty. 1108 00:55:14,728 --> 00:55:16,343 Oh, ma'am. Ma'am. 1109 00:55:16,814 --> 00:55:17,894 Oh, dear. 1110 00:55:19,191 --> 00:55:20,431 Tell me, Watson. 1111 00:55:22,027 --> 00:55:23,312 She's dead. 1112 00:55:24,988 --> 00:55:26,273 Holmes: Dear god. 1113 00:55:28,408 --> 00:55:30,364 We've killed the queen. 1114 00:55:30,702 --> 00:55:32,158 Are you all right, your majesty? 1115 00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:34,078 Yes. 1116 00:55:34,122 --> 00:55:35,987 - Yes, I'm all right. - Are you sure? 1117 00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:37,227 Yes, I'm quite fine. 1118 00:55:37,251 --> 00:55:40,118 My lover, John Watson, will take good care of me. 1119 00:55:42,297 --> 00:55:44,458 Why did you want that photograph? 1120 00:55:44,758 --> 00:55:46,999 I didn't want the photograph. 1121 00:55:47,094 --> 00:55:48,959 What are you talking about? 1122 00:55:49,054 --> 00:55:50,715 Mr. Holmes? Dr. Watson? 1123 00:55:50,931 --> 00:55:52,796 I'm very, very safe. 1124 00:55:52,891 --> 00:55:55,382 - She's so dead. - She's so dead. 1125 00:55:55,769 --> 00:55:56,929 Watson: I know. Holmes: Okay. 1126 00:55:56,979 --> 00:55:58,310 We'll shove her down the toilet 1127 00:55:58,397 --> 00:56:00,934 as if she was never here, and we'll deny ever seeing her. 1128 00:56:01,024 --> 00:56:02,464 Right. Excellent. 1129 00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:03,896 - Holmes: Come on. - Come up. 1130 00:56:05,946 --> 00:56:07,482 Here we are. Into the bathroom. 1131 00:56:09,283 --> 00:56:10,819 Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson. 1132 00:56:10,909 --> 00:56:12,274 What was the big bang? 1133 00:56:12,369 --> 00:56:13,680 We must buy some time. 1134 00:56:13,704 --> 00:56:14,889 - Right. - Let's get her to the door. 1135 00:56:14,913 --> 00:56:16,119 Guard: Open this door! Wait. 1136 00:56:16,874 --> 00:56:18,434 Watson: Hello. What do you want? 1137 00:56:18,458 --> 00:56:19,789 Ma'am, are you all right? 1138 00:56:19,877 --> 00:56:22,038 Yes, of course I'm fine. Can't you see? 1139 00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:23,273 Yes, of course, ma'am. I'm so sorry. 1140 00:56:23,297 --> 00:56:24,524 We've got it from here, boys. Thank you. 1141 00:56:24,548 --> 00:56:25,788 - We're good. - Guard: Yes, sir. 1142 00:56:27,342 --> 00:56:28,457 The trunk. Yes. 1143 00:56:28,677 --> 00:56:30,383 Yes, we'll mail her to Africa. 1144 00:56:31,847 --> 00:56:33,047 Watson: Come on, ma'am. Sorry. 1145 00:56:33,432 --> 00:56:34,467 Holmes: There we go. 1146 00:56:34,558 --> 00:56:35,558 Stuff her in there. 1147 00:56:35,809 --> 00:56:37,120 Really thrust. 1148 00:56:37,144 --> 00:56:38,554 Good. Good. 1149 00:56:39,271 --> 00:56:40,602 Good. Good. 1150 00:56:41,023 --> 00:56:42,663 - Hold on, Watson. - Guard: Come on, boys. 1151 00:56:42,691 --> 00:56:44,556 Open the door! 1152 00:56:44,651 --> 00:56:46,437 Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson. 1153 00:56:46,528 --> 00:56:48,814 One, two, three. Watch your fingers. 1154 00:56:49,990 --> 00:56:51,776 Guard: Open this door immediately! 1155 00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:53,107 This is bad. 1156 00:56:53,201 --> 00:56:54,987 You know what we must do. 1157 00:56:56,038 --> 00:56:57,244 Grab your toolbox. 1158 00:56:57,331 --> 00:56:59,868 Let me in! I'm breaking down the door! 1159 00:57:01,752 --> 00:57:03,788 - Bone saw. - Bone saw. 1160 00:57:03,879 --> 00:57:05,315 Watson: Oh, god. Guard: Come on! Push! Come on, together! 1161 00:57:05,339 --> 00:57:08,081 Watson, toilet-sized chunks. 1162 00:57:08,175 --> 00:57:09,335 Guard: Put your back into it! 1163 00:57:12,846 --> 00:57:14,211 Good god! 1164 00:57:17,476 --> 00:57:18,932 Platypus lips. 1165 00:57:25,901 --> 00:57:29,735 Can you send me a copy of the self-photograph? 1166 00:57:30,906 --> 00:57:32,396 Absolutely. 1167 00:57:33,241 --> 00:57:37,154 It will arrive at the palace in about a week. 1168 00:57:38,789 --> 00:57:39,869 Gentlemen, 1169 00:57:40,207 --> 00:57:43,620 you have two days to stop this killer. 1170 00:57:43,919 --> 00:57:44,999 Yes, ma'am. 1171 00:57:46,213 --> 00:57:47,453 God save the queen. 1172 00:57:52,344 --> 00:57:56,007 What a perfect day for a picnic at London's greatest spectacle, 1173 00:57:56,181 --> 00:57:57,921 the anglo-American exhibition. 1174 00:57:58,433 --> 00:58:00,389 A celebration of that special relationship 1175 00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:02,263 between our nation and yours. 1176 00:58:02,354 --> 00:58:04,345 Yes, such a special relationship 1177 00:58:04,439 --> 00:58:06,225 between these two nations, 1178 00:58:06,483 --> 00:58:08,474 although I could never live 1179 00:58:08,568 --> 00:58:10,524 in a country with an unelected ruler 1180 00:58:10,612 --> 00:58:11,612 like the queen. 1181 00:58:11,738 --> 00:58:13,444 Why ever not? 1182 00:58:13,782 --> 00:58:15,818 In America, we have democracy. 1183 00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:18,901 Our president is a person our people have all chosen. 1184 00:58:18,996 --> 00:58:20,031 Mmm. 1185 00:58:20,122 --> 00:58:24,161 An assurance that only the finest and most qualified man will lead, 1186 00:58:24,334 --> 00:58:28,293 not a wealthy tyrant who cares for nothing but himself. 1187 00:58:28,380 --> 00:58:31,042 But you have the electoral college, which surely will prevent 1188 00:58:31,133 --> 00:58:33,499 some trumped-up charlatan from gaining power. 1189 00:58:33,593 --> 00:58:35,174 Not always, unfortunately. 1190 00:58:35,303 --> 00:58:37,464 It would be great to have a strong businessman. 1191 00:58:37,556 --> 00:58:38,966 But a showman as well. 1192 00:58:39,141 --> 00:58:40,381 I love a good show. 1193 00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:42,431 America. 1194 00:58:42,519 --> 00:58:45,352 We gave you your freedom, and now look what you've done with it. 1195 00:58:45,772 --> 00:58:47,808 Announcer: London's spectacle... 1196 00:58:48,275 --> 00:58:49,731 Holmes: Remember, Watson. 1197 00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:52,943 Relax them with small talk, then begin the seduction. 1198 00:58:53,655 --> 00:58:55,270 I must say, she doesn't look 1199 00:58:55,365 --> 00:58:57,276 like she could be an accessory to murder. 1200 00:58:58,577 --> 00:59:00,613 Well, looks can be deceiving. 1201 00:59:02,497 --> 00:59:04,328 Remember, we're here to seduce. 1202 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:08,868 These physical displays of strength will enchant them. 1203 00:59:09,254 --> 00:59:10,254 Watson: Ah. 1204 00:59:13,717 --> 00:59:15,207 I could use a bit of cocaine. 1205 00:59:15,302 --> 00:59:16,883 Did you bring a vial with you? 1206 00:59:20,766 --> 00:59:21,926 Very good. 1207 00:59:30,150 --> 00:59:32,266 Are you all right? I'm... I'm exhausted. 1208 00:59:32,778 --> 00:59:35,144 There is one test I can employ 1209 00:59:35,238 --> 00:59:37,854 to prove she truly is who she says she is. 1210 00:59:38,033 --> 00:59:39,364 Then do it, Holmes. 1211 00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:41,863 Employ your last test. I simply must know. 1212 00:59:45,082 --> 00:59:46,367 - Help! - John? 1213 00:59:46,458 --> 00:59:48,218 - This man has been taken ill. - Grace: What? 1214 00:59:50,670 --> 00:59:51,670 I et me see. 1215 00:59:51,755 --> 00:59:53,620 If only there were a doctor present. 1216 00:59:54,132 --> 00:59:56,965 Clearly, he's had a severe blow to his occipital bone. 1217 00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:58,427 He's concussed. 1218 00:59:58,512 --> 01:00:00,924 - And I am a doctor. - A doctor? 1219 01:00:01,014 --> 01:00:03,756 A woman doctor. What times we live in. 1220 01:00:04,226 --> 01:00:05,432 Could it be? 1221 01:00:06,103 --> 01:00:08,389 Is grace truly a doctor? 1222 01:00:08,855 --> 01:00:11,187 Are her feelings of affection genuine? 1223 01:00:11,399 --> 01:00:12,980 Then she's innocent. 1224 01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:14,645 Watson, get up. 1225 01:00:14,736 --> 01:00:15,976 We need to go see my brother. 1226 01:00:16,071 --> 01:00:18,107 - I love you, grace. - Oh! 1227 01:00:20,492 --> 01:00:22,983 Watson: The legendary diogenes men's club. 1228 01:00:23,078 --> 01:00:26,866 Holmes: Home of London's most awkward gentlemen and my brother. 1229 01:00:28,625 --> 01:00:29,865 - Holmes. - Mmm. 1230 01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:31,416 I can't believe you have a brother. 1231 01:00:31,503 --> 01:00:33,368 Yes, but we're nothing alike. 1232 01:00:33,547 --> 01:00:35,879 He's an arrogant man who never appreciates 1233 01:00:35,966 --> 01:00:37,251 the people around him. 1234 01:00:37,717 --> 01:00:39,253 Butler: Follow me. Here. 1235 01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:45,551 Mycroft: Well, well, well. 1236 01:00:47,644 --> 01:00:50,135 So you are finally seeking your brother's help. 1237 01:00:51,022 --> 01:00:52,662 I must say, I'm not surprised. 1238 01:00:53,191 --> 01:00:55,728 And this vague assembly of limbs and fatty tissue, 1239 01:00:55,819 --> 01:00:57,275 I assume, is Dr. Watson. 1240 01:00:57,362 --> 01:00:58,397 Mmm. 1241 01:01:11,626 --> 01:01:13,491 So shall I get us started? 1242 01:01:16,256 --> 01:01:17,996 Watson, please. 1243 01:01:18,091 --> 01:01:20,047 We're in the middle of a conversation. 1244 01:01:20,135 --> 01:01:21,135 Can't you see? 1245 01:01:21,261 --> 01:01:23,752 When the two most brilliant minds in all of england 1246 01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:25,132 have a fraternal bond, 1247 01:01:25,223 --> 01:01:27,214 words are an inefficiency. 1248 01:01:27,309 --> 01:01:29,800 We communicate without words, silently, 1249 01:01:29,895 --> 01:01:32,181 from giant brain to gianter brain. 1250 01:01:32,355 --> 01:01:33,355 Watson: Of course. 1251 01:01:34,149 --> 01:01:36,435 I'll join in as I see fit. 1252 01:01:39,905 --> 01:01:42,692 Mycroft: I can spare a few minutes fo solve your little mystery 1253 01:01:42,782 --> 01:01:45,819 and help quench your thirst for public adulation. 1254 01:01:45,911 --> 01:01:48,072 Holmes: My thirst is for logic. 1255 01:01:48,163 --> 01:01:52,247 I don't care what the public thinks of London's best-loved detective, 1256 01:01:52,334 --> 01:01:53,540 Sherlock Holmes. 1257 01:01:53,627 --> 01:01:55,333 Watson: Thoughts. 1258 01:01:55,420 --> 01:01:57,035 Me-me talky. 1259 01:01:57,380 --> 01:01:58,711 Me-me talky. 1260 01:01:58,798 --> 01:02:00,254 You find killer. 1261 01:02:00,342 --> 01:02:03,084 Me-me talky? We find killer? 1262 01:02:03,553 --> 01:02:06,090 Watson, what are you trying to do? 1263 01:02:06,181 --> 01:02:07,387 Trying to brain-speak. 1264 01:02:07,474 --> 01:02:09,214 Holmes: You're going to hurt yourself. 1265 01:02:09,517 --> 01:02:11,223 Uh, sorry. 1266 01:02:11,519 --> 01:02:13,931 Uh, perhaps the gentleman would be more comfortable 1267 01:02:14,022 --> 01:02:16,013 in the companions' chamber. 1268 01:02:16,858 --> 01:02:20,191 Perhaps, or perhaps I'd be comfortable here by the fire. 1269 01:02:20,445 --> 01:02:22,857 - In the companions' chamber, sir. - Yes, fine. Of course. 1270 01:02:22,948 --> 01:02:24,984 Great idea. Yeah, capital idea. 1271 01:02:25,075 --> 01:02:26,611 I'll be in the companions' room. Yes. 1272 01:02:26,701 --> 01:02:29,317 The equal companions' room, should you need me. 1273 01:02:29,788 --> 01:02:30,868 It's just here. 1274 01:02:36,002 --> 01:02:38,322 Butler: Please enjoy the company of your fellow companions. 1275 01:02:38,505 --> 01:02:39,711 I see. Huh. 1276 01:02:40,548 --> 01:02:43,711 Balloons are happy, but they're not alive. 1277 01:02:45,178 --> 01:02:46,489 Fair enough. 1278 01:02:51,309 --> 01:02:55,143 Holmes: Who is this brilliant Nemesis capable of besting me? 1279 01:02:55,647 --> 01:02:59,014 Mycroft: If your Nemesis were truly smarter than you, 1280 01:02:59,109 --> 01:03:00,349 it could only be me. 1281 01:03:01,111 --> 01:03:03,318 And as I am not the killer, ohne must conclude 1282 01:03:03,405 --> 01:03:06,488 that the killer did not, nor could not, outwit you. 1283 01:03:06,783 --> 01:03:09,650 Holmes: If the killer is my intellectual inferior, 1284 01:03:09,911 --> 01:03:12,027 how has he predicted my every move? 1285 01:03:12,122 --> 01:03:13,766 Mycroft: The killer did not predict your actions. 1286 01:03:13,790 --> 01:03:15,951 Our murderer is a student of yours, 1287 01:03:16,042 --> 01:03:17,498 someone in your proximity. 1288 01:03:17,585 --> 01:03:19,792 Someone who could observe you undetected. 1289 01:03:19,879 --> 01:03:22,336 Someone who knows you better than anyone. 1290 01:03:22,424 --> 01:03:23,880 Watson: His mind radiates wisdom. 1291 01:03:23,967 --> 01:03:25,673 Sherlock Holmes has done it again! 1292 01:03:29,264 --> 01:03:30,674 I am dying from anticipation. 1293 01:03:30,765 --> 01:03:32,159 What did your brother tell you, Holmes? 1294 01:03:32,183 --> 01:03:34,014 I believe I've cracked the case. 1295 01:03:34,185 --> 01:03:36,892 It was in front of me the whole time, my dear Watson. 1296 01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:38,095 Oh, do share. 1297 01:03:38,315 --> 01:03:39,976 And ruin the suspense? 1298 01:03:40,275 --> 01:03:42,857 I just thought, since I worked the case with you... 1299 01:03:42,944 --> 01:03:44,184 And we're here. 1300 01:03:47,115 --> 01:03:48,230 Holmes: Now, 1301 01:03:48,408 --> 01:03:51,616 you're all wondering why I gathered you here today. 1302 01:03:52,245 --> 01:03:55,282 Prepare yourself to be astonished. 1303 01:03:55,623 --> 01:03:56,954 The killer could only be a man 1304 01:03:57,042 --> 01:03:59,078 who knew my actions at every turn. 1305 01:03:59,627 --> 01:04:02,243 Who was present at every murder? 1306 01:04:02,339 --> 01:04:03,339 Hmm? 1307 01:04:03,715 --> 01:04:05,922 Who knows me better than anyone? 1308 01:04:06,384 --> 01:04:09,296 It was you who arranged my birthday party 1309 01:04:09,387 --> 01:04:12,049 and the cake which contained the first victim, 1310 01:04:12,265 --> 01:04:15,598 initiating the events leading us to today. 1311 01:04:16,061 --> 01:04:18,894 Dr. Watson is the killer. 1312 01:04:21,983 --> 01:04:23,223 Holmes: By studying my methods, 1313 01:04:23,318 --> 01:04:26,481 you created a fake crime only you could solve. 1314 01:04:26,571 --> 01:04:28,983 Why? I was to be so impressed 1315 01:04:29,199 --> 01:04:31,906 that I would crown him co-detective. 1316 01:04:32,035 --> 01:04:34,401 He wanted to rewrite history 1317 01:04:34,704 --> 01:04:36,490 by becoming my partner. 1318 01:04:40,293 --> 01:04:43,535 Okay. Now the part about how I could never have done it 1319 01:04:43,630 --> 01:04:45,586 and on to the surprising real killer. 1320 01:04:45,673 --> 01:04:47,209 I wonder who it's going to be. 1321 01:04:47,300 --> 01:04:49,461 When one eliminates the impossible, 1322 01:04:49,552 --> 01:04:52,385 whatever remains, however improbable, 1323 01:04:52,472 --> 01:04:53,712 is the truth. 1324 01:04:54,808 --> 01:04:56,719 But this is absurd. 1325 01:04:57,477 --> 01:04:58,996 Holmes, you must know in your heart... 1326 01:04:59,020 --> 01:05:00,976 The heart is for pumping blood. 1327 01:05:01,064 --> 01:05:03,601 The truth is the truth! 1328 01:05:04,025 --> 01:05:05,025 Truth 1329 01:05:05,860 --> 01:05:09,023 is that I have devoted my life to you. 1330 01:05:09,864 --> 01:05:11,195 And I was a fool to think 1331 01:05:11,282 --> 01:05:13,238 you would ever consider me as a co-detective 1332 01:05:13,326 --> 01:05:16,489 when you're incapable of thinking of me even as a friend! 1333 01:05:18,706 --> 01:05:20,321 Inspector lestrade, take him. 1334 01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:21,952 (Go on. 1335 01:05:22,043 --> 01:05:23,533 The man is your closest friend. 1336 01:05:23,628 --> 01:05:25,619 Your pursuit of moriarty has failed. 1337 01:05:25,713 --> 01:05:27,328 You have no suspects. 1338 01:05:27,590 --> 01:05:30,127 The killer still threatens to kill the queen. 1339 01:05:30,218 --> 01:05:32,300 Is that a chance you're willing to take? 1340 01:05:33,054 --> 01:05:34,715 Take him. “What? 1341 01:05:38,268 --> 01:05:40,304 Do you see his propensity for violence? 1342 01:05:40,395 --> 01:05:42,115 - Do you still doubt me? Officer: Calm down. 1343 01:05:42,897 --> 01:05:47,641 I shall never again carry your blasted magnifying glasses 1344 01:05:48,653 --> 01:05:50,769 or your jars of urine. 1345 01:05:51,114 --> 01:05:52,650 Why are we even saving these? 1346 01:05:53,491 --> 01:05:57,484 And you look stupid in that hat. 1347 01:05:57,579 --> 01:06:00,662 Your head was not meant for hats. 1348 01:06:02,792 --> 01:06:04,999 Unhand me! No! 1349 01:06:05,086 --> 01:06:06,576 I'll never forget you, John. 1350 01:06:09,007 --> 01:06:10,292 Why? 1351 01:06:10,383 --> 01:06:14,467 John Watson devoted his life to you, and this is how you repay him? 1352 01:06:14,679 --> 01:06:18,388 Back to America with your ham-dogs and hot-burgers. 1353 01:06:18,475 --> 01:06:20,636 Grace: At least, in America, our system's fair. 1354 01:06:21,227 --> 01:06:23,468 No citizen can be found guilty 1355 01:06:23,563 --> 01:06:27,101 till his case is heard by a jury of white property-owning men. 1356 01:06:28,776 --> 01:06:31,358 Millie, surely, you must understand. 1357 01:06:40,497 --> 01:06:42,078 Fine, go! 1358 01:06:42,248 --> 01:06:44,955 I'm the greatest detective who ever lived. 1359 01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:47,458 You're welcome for solving this case. 1360 01:06:47,670 --> 01:06:47,954 Sherlock abandons Watson! 1361 01:06:47,962 --> 01:06:49,918 Sherlock abandons Watson! 1362 01:07:01,309 --> 01:07:03,891 Holmes: Well, you've done it again, Sherlock. 1363 01:07:05,313 --> 01:07:06,803 Justice has been served. 1364 01:07:07,190 --> 01:07:09,852 And to think it was underneath your nose the whole time. 1365 01:07:10,527 --> 01:07:12,188 Watson. 1366 01:07:12,278 --> 01:07:13,688 Of course it was Watson. 1367 01:07:14,155 --> 01:07:16,942 It'll be nice to have the place to myself again. 1368 01:07:17,492 --> 01:07:21,701 Don't have to deal with his stupid medical stuff 1369 01:07:22,622 --> 01:07:26,456 or the constant badgering about being a co-detective. 1370 01:07:28,044 --> 01:07:31,536 Oh, and the incessant writing in his blasted journal. 1371 01:07:33,007 --> 01:07:35,248 "With each passing day on the case, 1372 01:07:35,343 --> 01:07:38,460 "my admiration for Sherlock grows and grows. 1373 01:07:42,684 --> 01:07:45,175 "I daresay he's more than a great detective. 1374 01:07:46,312 --> 01:07:47,597 "He's a great man. 1375 01:07:49,148 --> 01:07:50,854 "A treasure for all of London. 1376 01:07:52,443 --> 01:07:53,979 "And I shall always 1377 01:07:55,488 --> 01:07:57,399 "consider him my best friend." 1378 01:08:15,633 --> 01:08:16,873 A tear? 1379 01:08:18,428 --> 01:08:19,918 What is this tear? 1380 01:08:29,314 --> 01:08:30,770 I can't stop it. 1381 01:08:36,571 --> 01:08:39,187 What is this warm feeling in my chest? 1382 01:08:45,538 --> 01:08:48,701 Why am I reeling in confusion? 1383 01:08:50,001 --> 01:08:52,868 What is this fever in my head? 1384 01:08:53,671 --> 01:08:55,036 Is it pox? 1385 01:08:55,173 --> 01:08:56,413 Maybe gout 1386 01:08:56,633 --> 01:08:59,124 I can't seem to work it out 1387 01:08:59,636 --> 01:09:01,672 and why 1388 01:09:01,971 --> 01:09:04,883 don't I feel triumphant? 1389 01:09:05,850 --> 01:09:08,592 And why does it seem less than right 1390 01:09:08,686 --> 01:09:11,598 that Watson's going to hang tonight 1391 01:09:11,689 --> 01:09:16,308 and gasp and thrash and choke until he's dead? 1392 01:09:16,819 --> 01:09:20,437 What is this strange sensation 1393 01:09:20,531 --> 01:09:23,273 pounding in my veins? 1394 01:09:23,451 --> 01:09:27,990 Why is fluid leaking from my eye? 1395 01:09:28,373 --> 01:09:31,331 Why do I ache with shame 1396 01:09:31,417 --> 01:09:34,580 while moaning Watson's name? 1397 01:09:34,879 --> 01:09:39,373 Wish I could deduce the reason why 1398 01:09:39,467 --> 01:09:41,833 how could I possibly deserve this? 1399 01:09:42,345 --> 01:09:44,711 How, when I've been his loyal friend? 1400 01:09:44,806 --> 01:09:46,171 Helped him work, took his side 1401 01:09:46,265 --> 01:09:47,846 sung his praises far and wide 1402 01:09:47,934 --> 01:09:53,099 so why would he just betray me? 1403 01:09:53,439 --> 01:09:56,522 Now all those happy times with him 1404 01:09:56,609 --> 01:09:59,442 when I would go solve crimes with him 1405 01:09:59,529 --> 01:10:02,487 are coming to a sad and lonely 1406 01:10:02,573 --> 01:10:05,360 eyeball-popping, strangulating 1407 01:10:05,451 --> 01:10:08,864 kicking, screaming end 1408 01:10:08,955 --> 01:10:12,573 what is this strange sensation? 1409 01:10:12,667 --> 01:10:15,283 Where did I go wrong? 1410 01:10:15,378 --> 01:10:18,495 Why am I a sobbing, trembling mess? 1411 01:10:18,589 --> 01:10:20,750 Soon my neck will snap in half 1412 01:10:20,842 --> 01:10:23,504 - I guess - And yet I know somehow 1413 01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:27,052 - and yet right now - If he could hear right now 1414 01:10:27,140 --> 01:10:29,506 I would still forgive him 1415 01:10:32,186 --> 01:10:35,053 more or less 1416 01:10:35,815 --> 01:10:38,602 please, I don't know upon whom else to call 1417 01:10:38,693 --> 01:10:41,480 nothing is making any sense at all 1418 01:10:41,571 --> 01:10:45,029 speak! I need your voice to hear your voice 1419 01:10:45,116 --> 01:10:48,233 so sweet, so pure, so wise 1420 01:10:52,373 --> 01:10:56,036 sometimes the irrational 1421 01:10:56,127 --> 01:10:59,619 is truer than the rational 1422 01:10:59,714 --> 01:11:02,922 the heart can have its reasons 1423 01:11:03,009 --> 01:11:06,843 which the head knows nothing of 1424 01:11:07,305 --> 01:11:10,217 your brain says Watson's guilty 1425 01:11:10,308 --> 01:11:14,392 but a stronger force says “no, he's not" 1426 01:11:14,479 --> 01:11:16,185 what is that force? 1427 01:11:16,272 --> 01:11:18,183 It's... it's... yes? What? 1428 01:11:18,274 --> 01:11:21,641 - It's love... - [ Ove? 1429 01:11:21,861 --> 01:11:25,649 It's love - it's jove 1430 01:11:25,740 --> 01:11:27,776 it's love - it's jove 1431 01:11:27,867 --> 01:11:30,233 it's love - it's jove 1432 01:11:30,745 --> 01:11:31,860 my god. 1433 01:11:32,246 --> 01:11:33,782 Did I push Watson away 1434 01:11:33,873 --> 01:11:36,205 because I feared losing him to grace? 1435 01:11:36,709 --> 01:11:38,825 Somehow, I know in my heart 1436 01:11:38,920 --> 01:11:41,332 in a way my brain can never know, 1437 01:11:41,631 --> 01:11:43,462 even a brain like mine, 1438 01:11:46,052 --> 01:11:47,667 Watson is innocent! 1439 01:11:48,179 --> 01:11:52,047 - Time to go and save - Come save me how 1440 01:11:52,141 --> 01:11:58,762 - the man I love - The man I love 1441 01:12:01,192 --> 01:12:02,192 Holmes: Watson! 1442 01:12:02,276 --> 01:12:05,689 I discovered my emotions, and I'm only 46. 1443 01:12:05,905 --> 01:12:06,564 Crowd: Hang! Hang! Hang! 1444 01:12:06,572 --> 01:12:07,982 Crowd: Hang! Hang! Hang! 1445 01:12:12,370 --> 01:12:13,576 Oh, god. 1446 01:12:14,413 --> 01:12:16,413 Crowd: Hang Dr. Watson! Hang Dr. Watson! 1447 01:12:16,707 --> 01:12:18,538 Watson: The dogs seem really unnecessary. 1448 01:12:19,252 --> 01:12:20,252 Sherlock. 1449 01:12:21,796 --> 01:12:22,876 On. 1450 01:12:23,172 --> 01:12:24,287 It's you. 1451 01:12:25,424 --> 01:12:26,834 You've brought cake. 1452 01:12:34,267 --> 01:12:36,428 Watson! My brother! 1453 01:12:36,519 --> 01:12:38,134 Watson, where are you? 1454 01:12:38,479 --> 01:12:39,639 Where... 1455 01:12:39,772 --> 01:12:41,012 I'm too late. 1456 01:12:47,780 --> 01:12:51,147 Very, very clever. 1457 01:12:57,290 --> 01:12:59,030 You were always so clever, 1458 01:12:59,834 --> 01:13:01,324 and I never appreciated it. 1459 01:13:03,004 --> 01:13:05,086 But it's not too late to make amends. 1460 01:13:05,172 --> 01:13:06,378 Watson! 1461 01:13:06,465 --> 01:13:08,831 I shouldn't have wasted all my time singing! 1462 01:13:14,390 --> 01:13:15,800 Ah! Grimy news kids. 1463 01:13:16,058 --> 01:13:17,639 I desperately need your help. 1464 01:13:17,894 --> 01:13:19,634 Dr. Watson's in grave danger. 1465 01:13:19,729 --> 01:13:21,219 Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. 1466 01:13:21,314 --> 01:13:22,770 Because of you, you wank! 1467 01:13:22,857 --> 01:13:23,937 I know. 1468 01:13:24,066 --> 01:13:25,681 But I know of a way to save him. 1469 01:13:25,860 --> 01:13:27,896 Please, please help me. 1470 01:13:28,154 --> 01:13:30,691 I must find a way to the docks immediately. 1471 01:13:34,410 --> 01:13:37,994 Watson: "Moriarty's daughter did the one thing moriarty never could. 1472 01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:41,743 "She defeated Sherlock Holmes and assassinated the queen. 1473 01:13:42,752 --> 01:13:45,289 "Sherlock Holmes, the man whom I regarded 1474 01:13:45,379 --> 01:13:49,122 "as the best and the wisest man whom I would ever know 1475 01:13:50,468 --> 01:13:53,005 "was a fraud." 1476 01:13:56,682 --> 01:13:57,922 It is done. 1477 01:13:58,351 --> 01:14:01,093 A devilish plan worthy of your father. 1478 01:14:01,437 --> 01:14:05,396 The last book in the Sherlock Holmes canon is complete, 1479 01:14:06,233 --> 01:14:08,849 the case of the defeated detective. 1480 01:14:09,278 --> 01:14:11,690 Daddy will be so proud. 1481 01:14:12,490 --> 01:14:13,980 Sherlock will be remembered 1482 01:14:14,075 --> 01:14:16,862 as the man who failed to protect the queen. 1483 01:14:17,078 --> 01:14:18,739 History shall be rewritten 1484 01:14:18,829 --> 01:14:22,447 at the hand of his loyal partner, Dr. Watson. 1485 01:14:23,250 --> 01:14:24,740 I've done your bidding. 1486 01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:26,621 Now set me free. 1487 01:14:27,505 --> 01:14:29,291 You're gonna die here. 1488 01:14:29,966 --> 01:14:31,422 You gave me your word. 1489 01:14:31,509 --> 01:14:32,919 You swore on the life of the queen. 1490 01:14:33,010 --> 01:14:36,468 I'm gonna kill the queen, you big eejit. Boys! 1491 01:14:36,847 --> 01:14:38,607 - Girl: Mrs. Hudson is the killer? - Mmm-hmm. 1492 01:14:38,808 --> 01:14:39,923 Gorblimey! 1493 01:14:40,017 --> 01:14:41,382 How'd you work that out? 1494 01:14:41,477 --> 01:14:43,433 Why, it was Watson who told me. 1495 01:14:43,771 --> 01:14:45,978 You see, beet sugar. 1496 01:14:46,315 --> 01:14:49,057 Mrs. Hudson's family recipe ahd Watson's favorite. 1497 01:14:49,151 --> 01:14:50,687 He never would have left crumbs behind 1498 01:14:50,778 --> 01:14:52,234 unless he was leaving me a clue. 1499 01:14:52,613 --> 01:14:55,696 For, you see, Mrs. Hudson's origins are not so humble. 1500 01:14:56,075 --> 01:14:59,738 She is none other than the daughter of professor James moriarty. 1501 01:14:59,829 --> 01:15:01,285 Boy: No, it ain't possible. 1502 01:15:01,372 --> 01:15:04,330 You see, Mrs. Hudson never knew her father. 1503 01:15:04,625 --> 01:15:05,990 He was never present. 1504 01:15:06,210 --> 01:15:09,748 To gain his love, she tried to pull off the greatest crime ever. 1505 01:15:09,922 --> 01:15:12,538 Destroy the great Sherlock Holmes. 1506 01:15:12,925 --> 01:15:16,258 She took a job at my house in order to study my methods, 1507 01:15:16,345 --> 01:15:19,462 then used a network of patsies fo execute her plans. 1508 01:15:19,682 --> 01:15:22,515 However, it wasn't until I understood feelings 1509 01:15:22,601 --> 01:15:24,307 that I understood her motive, 1510 01:15:24,603 --> 01:15:26,810 her heed for her father's love. 1511 01:15:27,398 --> 01:15:30,310 She would gain it by eliminating his greatest enemy, 1512 01:15:30,568 --> 01:15:31,683 me. 1513 01:15:31,861 --> 01:15:35,854 And tonight, she will commit her boldest crime yet, 1514 01:15:36,323 --> 01:15:39,190 killing the queen here! 1515 01:15:39,869 --> 01:15:41,279 The Titanic. 1516 01:15:41,704 --> 01:15:43,194 The marvel of London. 1517 01:15:43,706 --> 01:15:46,539 A new castle, which runs on coal. 1518 01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:50,292 Man: Your majesty, may I introduce lieutenant Morgan. 1519 01:15:50,379 --> 01:15:51,459 Queen Victoria: Lieutenant. 1520 01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:53,837 Man: First officer Carter. 1521 01:15:54,508 --> 01:15:56,499 - Your majesty. - First officer. 1522 01:15:57,053 --> 01:15:59,044 Holmes: Look, Hudson's goons. 1523 01:15:59,638 --> 01:16:02,596 - Create a diversion. - You go and save Dr. Watson, Mr. Holmes. 1524 01:16:02,850 --> 01:16:04,010 We'll take care of this lot. 1525 01:16:04,101 --> 01:16:05,716 Come on, you Tom fit! 1526 01:16:05,811 --> 01:16:07,802 You ain't bigger than a couple of powder monkeys. 1527 01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:11,059 Is there a problem, boys? 1528 01:16:11,192 --> 01:16:13,478 Think we can take them, lads. Aye? 1529 01:16:13,819 --> 01:16:15,901 Walk away now, and I promise you won't get hurt. 1530 01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:18,525 A bunch of runts and a couple of ladies? 1531 01:16:18,616 --> 01:16:20,026 American ladies. 1532 01:16:24,997 --> 01:16:26,237 Man: Not my eyes! 1533 01:16:31,128 --> 01:16:33,710 Mrs. Hudson: I'm sorry to do this, Dr. Watson. 1534 01:16:33,798 --> 01:16:36,414 I'm gonna crush your head. 1535 01:16:36,509 --> 01:16:39,342 There's gonna be brains everywhere. 1536 01:16:39,428 --> 01:16:41,919 And I'll not be cleaning up after. 1537 01:16:42,014 --> 01:16:43,174 I know you're threatening me, 1538 01:16:43,224 --> 01:16:45,135 but I can't understand a word you're saying. 1539 01:16:45,935 --> 01:16:48,347 You're staying, Dr. Watson, 1540 01:16:48,437 --> 01:16:51,929 but I'll be on my way to America by the time the bomb explodes. 1541 01:16:52,233 --> 01:16:53,598 Sherlock will save me. 1542 01:16:53,692 --> 01:16:55,273 - You'll see. - I'll see. 1543 01:16:55,611 --> 01:16:57,067 He won't let me down. 1544 01:16:57,446 --> 01:16:59,653 He won't. He's my best friend! 1545 01:17:01,200 --> 01:17:02,406 Dollface! 1546 01:17:07,206 --> 01:17:08,286 Mrs. Hudson: Come on, boys. 1547 01:17:08,332 --> 01:17:11,074 - The bomb goes off in 10 minutes. - Sherlock! 1548 01:17:11,752 --> 01:17:13,743 Sherlock! 1549 01:17:14,463 --> 01:17:16,545 Help! Help! 1550 01:17:16,632 --> 01:17:18,293 Sherlock! 1551 01:17:18,926 --> 01:17:20,257 Help! 1552 01:17:21,720 --> 01:17:22,800 Watson! 1553 01:17:25,224 --> 01:17:29,058 Oh, god, if you save me, I'll never touch myself again. 1554 01:17:29,145 --> 01:17:31,352 - Watson! - Oh, Sherlock. 1555 01:17:31,564 --> 01:17:33,270 You've come for me. I knew you would. 1556 01:17:33,357 --> 01:17:35,473 Watson, good news. 1557 01:17:35,651 --> 01:17:36,936 You're innocent. 1558 01:17:37,862 --> 01:17:39,602 Yes. I know. 1559 01:17:39,697 --> 01:17:41,233 - Oh. - Thank you. 1560 01:17:41,907 --> 01:17:43,738 - Can you forgive me? - Of course. 1561 01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:46,317 Now, be a good chap, and get me out of this damn thing 1562 01:17:46,412 --> 01:17:47,948 before it crushes my skull. 1563 01:17:48,247 --> 01:17:49,783 Yes? There's a good chap. Go on. 1564 01:17:49,874 --> 01:17:52,365 I won't leave you. Not again. 1565 01:17:52,459 --> 01:17:54,745 That's a lovely sentiment, but I really need you 1566 01:17:54,837 --> 01:17:56,498 to free me from this gear right now. 1567 01:17:56,881 --> 01:17:58,997 Emotions are spewing from my heart. 1568 01:17:59,466 --> 01:18:01,146 - Pull yourself together. - Okay. 1569 01:18:01,177 --> 01:18:02,257 Stop crying. 1570 01:18:02,344 --> 01:18:04,784 Because we must get the queen and everyone else off this ship. 1571 01:18:04,847 --> 01:18:06,633 You see, Hudson has planted a bomb. 1572 01:18:06,724 --> 01:18:08,510 A time bomb, you see? 1573 01:18:08,601 --> 01:18:10,637 - You must free me. - Do you feel my heart ticking? 1574 01:18:10,728 --> 01:18:12,328 Get me off this fucking wheel! 1575 01:18:12,730 --> 01:18:15,346 All my dreams are coming true. 1576 01:18:15,441 --> 01:18:19,559 In just two minutes, my bomb will go off, killing the queen. 1577 01:18:19,820 --> 01:18:21,981 Sherlock Holmes will go down in history 1578 01:18:22,072 --> 01:18:25,485 as the worst detective the world has ever known. 1579 01:18:25,576 --> 01:18:28,989 And the name moriarty will live on forever! 1580 01:18:31,081 --> 01:18:32,287 Father, 1581 01:18:32,833 --> 01:18:35,119 soon, we shall be together again. 1582 01:18:35,586 --> 01:18:37,952 In americal - men: Yeah! 1583 01:18:45,512 --> 01:18:48,128 The bomb will detonate in one minute. 1584 01:18:48,265 --> 01:18:49,971 Where could it possibly be? 1585 01:18:51,393 --> 01:18:52,553 Watson: Wait. 1586 01:18:52,811 --> 01:18:54,517 That kettle drum. 1587 01:18:54,730 --> 01:18:57,767 Those are only ever used in mounted cavalry formations, 1588 01:18:57,858 --> 01:18:59,314 never in a marine band. 1589 01:18:59,944 --> 01:19:01,059 Perhaps... 1590 01:19:01,153 --> 01:19:03,815 The bomb is in the drum. Very good, Watson. 1591 01:19:03,906 --> 01:19:05,612 But the queen is standing just beside it. 1592 01:19:05,699 --> 01:19:07,064 She'll be blown to smithereens. 1593 01:19:07,159 --> 01:19:08,990 But how to defuse it in time? 1594 01:19:10,371 --> 01:19:13,955 Holmes: Time remaining until bomb detonation, 55 seconds. 1595 01:19:14,166 --> 01:19:17,624 Estimated blast radius from bomb, 17 feet. 1596 01:19:17,711 --> 01:19:20,794 Time required to move queen to safety, 12 seconds. 1597 01:19:20,881 --> 01:19:22,712 Solution, move through crowd, 1598 01:19:22,800 --> 01:19:25,917 see Millie for the first time, forget about bomb... 1599 01:19:26,011 --> 01:19:27,091 No. 1600 01:19:31,100 --> 01:19:32,965 Time remaining, 37 seconds. 1601 01:19:33,060 --> 01:19:35,517 Solution, shoot water main to douse bomb, 1602 01:19:35,604 --> 01:19:37,515 remember Millie at the park, forget about bomb. 1603 01:19:37,606 --> 01:19:38,846 No, I forgot about the bomb! 1604 01:19:43,195 --> 01:19:45,777 Watson, what are you doing in my brain? 1605 01:19:45,864 --> 01:19:47,149 Watson: I'm doing it. 1606 01:19:47,241 --> 01:19:49,823 I'm communicating without words. 1607 01:19:49,910 --> 01:19:52,492 I can't focus. I was trying to formulate a plan, 1608 01:19:52,579 --> 01:19:54,490 and I kept getting off track. 1609 01:19:54,581 --> 01:19:57,118 Holmes, no, you don't. Snap out of it. 1610 01:19:57,209 --> 01:19:58,824 I can't. I'm too emotional. 1611 01:19:58,919 --> 01:20:01,456 Look behind me. The queen's being blown to bits. 1612 01:20:01,630 --> 01:20:03,166 You have to take control. 1613 01:20:03,340 --> 01:20:05,376 You must be detective for both of us. 1614 01:20:05,551 --> 01:20:06,666 Right. 1615 01:20:08,220 --> 01:20:09,585 Watson: I know what I must do. 1616 01:20:09,763 --> 01:20:11,424 Estimated blast radius, 1617 01:20:11,765 --> 01:20:13,551 20... no, 30 feet? 1618 01:20:13,642 --> 01:20:14,762 Account for ship's movement. 1619 01:20:14,810 --> 01:20:16,675 Wait. Is that a four or a seven? 1620 01:20:16,770 --> 01:20:18,556 Math is so hard. Hold on. 1621 01:20:18,647 --> 01:20:20,512 What does that "x" mean? Or is that a plus? 1622 01:20:20,607 --> 01:20:22,313 What is that thing? Angle of approach? 1623 01:20:22,401 --> 01:20:25,088 Oh, I don't know how to do angles. Should have listened more in school. 1624 01:20:25,112 --> 01:20:26,693 Oh, screw it. Charge! 1625 01:20:28,615 --> 01:20:29,855 Out of my way! 1626 01:20:30,034 --> 01:20:31,194 Move! 1627 01:20:31,702 --> 01:20:34,159 Nine, eight... 1628 01:20:34,371 --> 01:20:35,531 Coming through! 1629 01:20:35,873 --> 01:20:37,613 - So sorry! - Seven... 1630 01:20:38,667 --> 01:20:39,827 Come on. 1631 01:20:39,960 --> 01:20:41,370 Move your tuchis! 1632 01:20:41,503 --> 01:20:42,783 Sorry, friend! 1633 01:20:44,506 --> 01:20:45,586 Mrs. Hudson: Five, 1634 01:20:46,425 --> 01:20:47,505 four... 1635 01:20:50,471 --> 01:20:51,677 Two... 1636 01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:57,675 Aw, shit! 1637 01:21:03,525 --> 01:21:04,685 Man: Huzzah. 1638 01:21:04,902 --> 01:21:06,893 Huzzah for Sherlock Holmes. 1639 01:21:06,987 --> 01:21:09,603 Sherlock Holmes saved the Titanic. 1640 01:21:10,532 --> 01:21:12,693 Crowd: Huzzah! Woman: Hurrah for Sherlock! 1641 01:21:12,785 --> 01:21:13,785 Man 1: Bravo, Sherlock! 1642 01:21:13,869 --> 01:21:15,951 Man 2: Sherlock Holmes was right about everything! 1643 01:21:16,038 --> 01:21:17,403 Crowd: Hip hip hooray! 1644 01:21:18,165 --> 01:21:20,030 Thank you. Thank you. 1645 01:21:21,085 --> 01:21:23,872 But I could never have done it without Dr. Watson. 1646 01:21:23,962 --> 01:21:28,251 - Oh, no. - I et Watson's name be forever associated 1647 01:21:28,342 --> 01:21:29,582 with the Titanic. 1648 01:21:30,010 --> 01:21:34,504 So, when you think of your friends and relatives on board the Titanic, 1649 01:21:34,598 --> 01:21:36,134 just remember, 1650 01:21:36,225 --> 01:21:40,764 Dr. John h. Watson put them there. 1651 01:21:40,896 --> 01:21:42,874 Man: Hooray for Watson! 1652 01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:44,388 Bloody good we didn't hang him. 1653 01:21:46,235 --> 01:21:47,771 Queen Victoria: Dr. Watson, 1654 01:21:48,529 --> 01:21:49,860 you saved us. 1655 01:21:50,322 --> 01:21:51,402 Thank you. 1656 01:21:52,032 --> 01:21:54,398 It has been my pleasure to serve you, your majesty. 1657 01:22:11,009 --> 01:22:12,294 No, Millie. 1658 01:22:22,980 --> 01:22:24,470 I have a confession to make. 1659 01:22:25,107 --> 01:22:27,348 I'm not actually in love with you. 1660 01:22:27,776 --> 01:22:29,937 In order to conclude my investigation, 1661 01:22:30,028 --> 01:22:33,145 it was imperative that I understood what love felt like. 1662 01:22:33,615 --> 01:22:35,071 I'm sorry to have led you on. 1663 01:22:36,201 --> 01:22:37,691 I have a confession as well. 1664 01:22:37,911 --> 01:22:39,401 I was also not in love. 1665 01:22:39,538 --> 01:22:40,994 I was conducting an experiment 1666 01:22:41,081 --> 01:22:43,163 on how easy it is to manipulate the male ego. 1667 01:22:44,001 --> 01:22:46,538 - What? - I'm sorry I led you on. 1668 01:22:47,212 --> 01:22:49,544 Well, I have another confession. 1669 01:22:49,631 --> 01:22:52,213 - Hmm. - I was just pretending to have a big ego 1670 01:22:52,301 --> 01:22:55,008 so as to make you think that your experiment was working 1671 01:22:55,095 --> 01:22:57,177 so that I could conclude my experiment on you. 1672 01:22:57,264 --> 01:22:58,754 Well, I had to lead you on 1673 01:22:58,849 --> 01:23:01,556 because I was doing an experiment about how men think 1674 01:23:01,643 --> 01:23:03,621 they can manipulate female scientists while they're doing experiments. 1675 01:23:03,645 --> 01:23:05,476 Well, I have another confession to make. 1676 01:23:17,117 --> 01:23:20,200 You will be shocked to learn that was my first kiss. 1677 01:23:20,913 --> 01:23:23,370 Mine as well, and we've already mastered it. 1678 01:23:23,457 --> 01:23:24,697 Yes, indeed. 1679 01:23:24,833 --> 01:23:26,494 All aboard! 1680 01:23:26,668 --> 01:23:29,205 She sails in 20 minutes! 1681 01:23:29,296 --> 01:23:31,161 Man: Hurry, everyone! Step lively! 1682 01:23:31,256 --> 01:23:33,838 Holmes: Enjoy your trip on the safest ship to sail. 1683 01:23:33,926 --> 01:23:35,086 Goodbye. 1684 01:23:35,344 --> 01:23:36,504 Farewell, grace. 1685 01:23:36,845 --> 01:23:37,845 Holmes: Goodbye, Millie. 1686 01:23:37,930 --> 01:23:40,296 Make sure you get plenty of bed rest. 1687 01:23:40,641 --> 01:23:42,256 There's a good chance you're pregnant. 1688 01:23:42,351 --> 01:23:43,351 I hope so. 1689 01:23:43,435 --> 01:23:45,050 From... from the kissing? 1690 01:23:46,605 --> 01:23:48,311 - Yes. - Oh, yes. 1691 01:23:49,691 --> 01:23:51,306 What a grand ship. 1692 01:23:51,401 --> 01:23:52,401 Yes. 1693 01:23:52,486 --> 01:23:54,522 Watson, look. 1694 01:23:55,697 --> 01:23:56,982 It's Billy Zane. 1695 01:23:57,950 --> 01:23:59,030 Sherlock. 1696 01:24:00,702 --> 01:24:02,738 Holmes: Wow. He's breathtaking. 1697 01:24:03,830 --> 01:24:05,195 Where's the bar on this canoe? 1698 01:24:10,254 --> 01:24:11,539 - Holmes. - Mmm. 1699 01:24:12,089 --> 01:24:14,330 I believe I may have solved the one mystery 1700 01:24:14,424 --> 01:24:16,585 which has baffled you all these years. 1701 01:24:17,761 --> 01:24:18,921 What? 1702 01:24:22,641 --> 01:24:23,756 Would you mind? 1703 01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:27,267 Ah. 1704 01:24:27,354 --> 01:24:28,469 Do you like it? 1705 01:24:28,605 --> 01:24:30,641 I et's see here. Huh? 1706 01:24:31,066 --> 01:24:32,647 - Oh, it suits you. - Mmm. 1707 01:24:33,110 --> 01:24:35,317 - I think it's perfect. - Really? 1708 01:24:35,612 --> 01:24:38,604 - You're not just saying that? - No, I'm not just saying it. 1709 01:24:39,116 --> 01:24:40,777 - Good. - Thank you, Watson. 1710 01:24:41,285 --> 01:24:43,071 And I have something for you as well. 1711 01:24:43,161 --> 01:24:45,527 - No. No. - Please. Step over here. 1712 01:24:45,622 --> 01:24:48,204 Why? I don't deserve anything. 1713 01:24:49,876 --> 01:24:50,876 My dear Watson. 1714 01:24:51,795 --> 01:24:53,035 What do you think? 1715 01:24:53,589 --> 01:24:54,999 It's beautiful. 1716 01:25:22,784 --> 01:25:25,275 Telegram for professor moriarty. 1717 01:25:27,748 --> 01:25:28,748 Professor? 1718 01:25:36,214 --> 01:25:37,954 Boy, who sent this?